Like A Tiger

I do not care about this recent Tiger Woods affair car-crash whatever thing. I also did not care about the Premier of South Australia having an affair last week, or whatever that was. I mean, I don't think I ever used to care about "celeb adultery shock!" stories, much – but lately I've been more than uninterested, I've been damn well anti-interested, to the point that celebrity sex scandals are actually repelling my interest.

Is it just me? I know that famous people's extramarital affairs used to be much more of a big deal, years ago, because extramarital affairs used to be much more of a big deal in general, years ago . . . Until the 1970s, divorce was always scandalous and/or nigh-impossible; sex scandals could literally bring down a government. Fair enough these stories were well newsworthy, then.

Today, though . . . how is adultery still worth a broadsheet's front page? Is it really news? I mean – what's the divorce rate, these days? I'm 28 now, and I'm almost the only person I know whose parents aren't divorced. Only a minuscule fraction of marriages last from the vows 'til death without being interrupted by adultery and/or divorce. Shouldn't it be a hell of a lot more newsworthy when famous people don't have an affair and/or break up?

This is the gist of my rant: adultery is BORING. Adultery is ROUTINE. Adultery is EVERYWHERE, even if some people still refuse to admit it. So can't we just assume that most famous married people are having affairs, and then forget about it? With rare exceptions, adultery has no bearing on anything that the famous person is actually doing in the public sphere. And it's none of our business, right? Look, I enjoy reading about (some) famous people, I totally understand the impulse to learn the "private" details of their lives; it's a neat thrill, sometimes. But adultery just isn't doing it for me, anymore. Adultery is dull, predictable and petty; it's not exciting, it's not even sexy. It leaves me feeling vaguely glum. I'd rather know what Tiger Woods eats for breakfast than know the state of his marriage, and I don't really care what he eats for breakfast. I don't even play golf.

I DO NOT CARE about Tiger Woods's marriage.

However. I did find this Chinese news report rather intriguing:

(via Pajiba)

The Onion's version of events is compelling, too.

Am I in a minority of one, in not caring about celebrity adultery? Am I being too old-fashioned, or too new-fashioned, or just daft?

/end rant

This Is A Poster For A Horror Movie

Joss Whedon apparently wrote half of this.

(Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?)

Great marketing, huh? I found a couple more of them over here.

What's wrong with Juno?

JUNO

So I saw Juno a while ago, sure, and I enjoyed it. It was well done, it made me laugh; and it had some very good acting, I thought... the character arcs for Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner were especially clever and not overstated. Ellen Page's Juno was lovable as hell.

However: while a lot of other people absolutely adored the film, *woo awesome unreservedly*, – I just didn't. I couldn't get behind it without something nagging at me, something I couldn't quite put my finger on. Folks, I am not wholehearted in my appreciation of Diablo Cody's cinematic accomplishments. But it's taken me a little while to figure out why this is so. I mean hey, I liked the film, already! Why couldn't I just praise it without feeling off?

Well, I think I've figured it out. So, okay, hear me out: the character of Juno is, at heart, a very clever and canny girl. She's funny and she's smart, the whole way through the film. Secondly: her decision to have sex is her own, it's (implied to be, more or less) a premeditated act, and she isn't drunk or otherwise distracted at the time. So: why does an otherwise intelligent young woman decide to have sex without using any fucking protection? Seriously, what's up? I just don't get it. Surely she knows that she's likely to get pregnant by doing this, so what the hell is she thinking? Juno isn't drunk, she isn't having sex against her will, the event isn't especially spur-of-the-moment – what on earth is her excuse? I am genuinely mystified, here. Don't all teenagers live more or less in mortal terror of pregnancy? I know the concept worried me a hell of a lot, when I was 16. (Heck, I'm 26 now and I'm still not unconcerned).

Is this an American thing, perhaps? Is sex education genuinely so lax there, are condoms genuinely so difficult to obtain (if you're a teenager)? I'm boggling. That an otherwise intelligent girl would be as reckless as Juno seems to be – it may or may not be realistic (and it's a movie, anyway, 'realistic' is not necessarily the point or the aim), but either way this aspect of the premise jarred my suspension of disbelief no end. I could never get totally absorbed into the film without it nagging at the back of my mind. I still can't.

Maybe I'm being unreasonable, or there's something obvious that I'm overlooking. Maybe I'm just thinking about it too much. Maybe I should track down Diablo Cody and ask her...

nifty name, 'diablo'. can't deny that.

--the Cinematic Thoapsl