No, I Am An Unsuccessful Bounty Hunter

Woke up this morning out of a strangely vivid dream, in which I had been interested to learn that Kirk Douglas supplied the voice for Bossk* in Return Of The Jedi**.

*(Bossk is an absurdly obscure Star Wars character. The only reason I know about him, I swear, is because I once found a defective Bossk™ Official Star Wars™ Action Figure in a random showbag at the Castlemaine Show. Both of his legs were right legs, so the one attached to his left hip looked like it was on backwards. When you're 10 years old, this is the kind of event that will make a nameless character's name stick in your head forever.)

Furthermore, Kirk Douglas had supposedly done this celebrity cameo voice because he was famous in real life for saying "Tssk!" a lot. Hence, the popcultural pun value of his cameo voice for Bossk.

**(Also, you know what? I'm pretty sure Bossk isn't actually in Return Of The Jedi, he's only in that one quick scene in Empire Strikes Back with all the bounty hunters. Also, I'm pretty sure Bossk has no dialogue for Kirk Douglas to voice, unless maybe he just hisses or growls or something for half a second? – How could my subconscious mind have gotten this wrong? And also I am not a Star Wars nerd, I just have a good memory, okay, honestly, shut up)

What the heck is my mind doing, dreaming this stuff? I'm dreaming about imaginary false anecdotes from the annals of fake film history, now? And, I mean, "Tssk!"? What? I mean, seriously, whatttf?

So, in conclusion:

It has been a very long, strange couple of weeks. Sorry about that.

Rule #1: Don't Go To Bed Hungry

I tell you what, I think those freaking Top 10 lists really took it out of me. Shortly after posting the final list, I succumbed to a mildly bizarre illness – a kind of feverish, throaty sleeping sickness – and it's taken me more than a week since then to move beyond "miserably ill" and back to mere "croaky ill-temper". What did I miss while I was out?

Lucky for you, wiser webfolk than I have been able to provide commentary on the world in my absence, of which I shall now reproduce a pertinent example:

No, wait – I think that happened before the last Top 10? Aw, whatevs. Let's just assume business as usual & no worries, then.

On the other hand, I'm pretty sure that you aren't reading this blog in order to receive commentary on current events. On the original hand – are you, actually? Should I be blogging more commentary on current events? Please let me know, if so . . .

Either way, more blogging soon. I've been collecting a fine swag of interesting images without any particular purpose, so I think I'm going to start posting the images without any particular purpose. Just to share, you know. The way all those fancy awesome tumblr kids are doing blog*, these days.

For example: this. I'm not sure where this came from, but apparently it's by someone called Michael Page, who would appear to be kind of awesome. (Click the image for a closer look, I think it's worth it.)

Nice and interesting, huh?

All right. And now: nachos.

Good night :)

*Yeah, "doing blog". That's what I wrote.

Top 10 #1: Top 10 Best Numbers Between 1 and 10

And so we come to the end of a particularly daft enterprise. But better to reach an ending than to abandon a program unfinished, right?

Hm. Either way, I've now finally reached the most profound and meaningful of my Top 10 Top 10 Lists That Don't Really Deserve To Be Top 10 Lists:

It's

The Top 10 Best Numbers Between 1 and 10!

10. 9

9. 5

8. 1.01

7. 3

6. e

5. π

4. 6

3. δ

2. 2

1. φ

Why these numbers, you ask? Hypothetical reader, I am glad that you ask (or in fact, that you allow me rhetorically to ask you).

9

It's the biggest numeral we have: after 9, all we have left is 0 again. Also, it creates a hypnotically symmetrical square, which is kind of neat, don't you think?:

5

Symbolism, magic, political power: that's 5. It crops up surprisingly often, if you look for it.

1.01

This should be an obvious choice, shouldn't it? It's 1, but it's a bit more than 1. It's a symbol of improvement, of education, of progress. Doesn't it make you feel better, just looking at it?

3

The smallest number that's big enough to be genuinely numberish. 3 things are enough things to create a whole bunch of problems that literally can't be solved. 3 contains enough complexity to generate a universe.

e

It's a bit more than 2. It's all natural. It's a pleasantly fractal concept to base your logarithms on, if you need some logarithms. And hey, who doesn't need logarithms? Who doesn't like logs? Who doesn't like rhythms? Answer: nobody! (FACT.)

π

Obviously.

6

For making us happier, and in particular for giving us the best opportunity to giggle at New Zealand accents.

δ

By which I'm talking about the Feigenbaum constant, 4.669201609etc. This number emerges at the heart of complex systems like the weather, or the economy, or pretty much every system of interacting relationships in our world. This constant is our sublime proof that chaos theory is not chaotic. So, you know; it's kind of important, and it's kind of neat.

2

The loneliest number, next to number 1. (So, it's not so lonely.) This can still be problematic, but it's also pretty nice.

φ

By which I'm talking about the number of the Golden Ratio, 1.6180339887etc. (And yeah, the Silver Ratio probably also deserves some respect, but that's another story.) This number is the ratio of ratios: it's everywhere, even when it's not, and it's the reason that most nice architecture and design looks so nice. For services to aesthetics, recognised & unrecognised: thanks, φ.

Cheers.

--the listless thoapsl

2KX

* something missing *

Something That Grabs Your Attention

An interesting, unusual statement. An elaboration, less unusual but possibly amusing. A longer sentence, a clarification; and a hook to keep you reading.

A clearer statement of what I'm actually talking about. A piece of information relating to this. However, a modification of this information; a complication. A subtle contradiction.

A less formal sentence, framing a more personal context. Consequences of a possibility. A modest disavowal of judgment. A more contentious statement or dubious piece of information, presented as an uncertain possibility.

Gesture towards a summary. A more definitive statement. Hint of personal opinion. Something intended to inspire you to leave a comment.

Pithy conclusion.