Sunday Night Tumbln' Tumblrweeds

When you tumbl your attentions across a numbr of tumblrs, a numbr of those tumblrs' pics are bound to fiercely tumbl themselves onto & into your memories (both electronical & neurological). Or something like that. Does that make sense? What about the spelling? It's got something to do with hipsters, apparently, but I try not to hold that against it.

So: can you guess the common theme for these images? It's a three-word phrase . . .

(Via.)

. . . it's a line of dialogue, i.e. a line you'd expect to hear spoken aloud . . .

(Via.)

. . . it would probably end with an exclamation mark . . .

(Via.)

If you can think of a three-word phrase that would be exclaimed aloud and is cryptically applicable to each of these pictures, leave your guess in the comments! You might win!

(Is that an intriguing game, or a completely annoying and pointless one? Or both? Please let me know – it's late on a Sunday and my good judgment isn't necessarily itself, I think . . . this morning I ate nachos for breakfast . . .)

Intriguing images, yes? The internet is a fine and lovely domain.

Positive Randomivity for the Week

I don't who made this, but I'm very glad they did.

Up!

Go! Presence! Action! Now!

I finally have internet access again. This is a fine and helpful thing. While absent from the internet these past weeks, I missed all sorts of interesting things. For example:

1. SHOCK! Sparkly vampire star Robert Pattinson really hates vaginas! TRUE! SHOCK!

2: Tina Fey made the cover of Vogue! People are annoyed because Vogue photoshopped her scar away, but even so – Happy Anna Howard Shaw Day!

3. Young George Clooney.

Hmm. I'm going to need some time to process all this, I think.

Down!

Lack! Absence! Off! Crash!

From later tonight, I'm going to be without home internet for a while. Apparently it takes "10-20 working days" of non-access in order to switch my account from ADSL to Naked ADSL. I've gotten so used to constant broadband internets, I'm not sure how I'm going to cope . . .

Lucky for you, though, I've already scheduled some posts (including the continuing Top 10 Top 10 lists!) to publish over the next few weeks. This blog will not be without content! And please keep commenting – I promise I'll reply, even if it's a day or two late.

Here's hoping all goes well. In the meantime, here's a picture of Christina Hendricks that I hope will cheer you up.

Top 10 #7: Top 10 Ambiguous Sporting Team Nicknames

This one is clearly the most dull of my Top 10 Top 10 Lists That Don't Really Deserve To Be Top 10 Lists. However, it does have nice pictures, and also I spent at least a minute writing the hidden mouse-over text. Enjoy!

It's

The Top 10 Ambiguous Sporting Team Nicknames!

(And all from completely genuine top-rank sporting teams, btw . . .)

10. Dockers

9. A's

8. Reds

7. Packers

6. Clarets

5. Steelers

4. Wednesday

3. Bills

2. Blues

1. Cardinals

Mostly taken from USA sporting teams, of course: American sports, you will agree, are clearly more . . . ambiguous.

Enjoy yr afternoon

-Thoapsl

Friday Is Out Of Context

I found this in a comic book. This is set in the same fictional universe as Iron Man, Spider-Man, and the X-Men. The words in the speech bubble are interesting, I think. My initial reaction:

*whattttttttttttt*

Interesting? What do you think?

This Friday Is Out Of Context Thoapsl Says: A spell is not always restful.

Appropriate Use of the Theme from "MacGyver"

That's right.

(Via Pajiba.)

Friday Is Out Of Context

You know, somebody says "Slug Monster!" and you think you know what they're talking about. You turn around for a look, but you already feel like you know what you'll see. Heck, you've seen some horror movies, you've got a pretty vivid imagination; you've seen plenty of slug monsters before. How bad could this one be?

Obviously, you have underestimated certain German illustrators of the early 1920s.

(Note, also: the body in the lower left is not being crushed by the slug. It is being absorbed, or possibly growing out of the slug's body like a deformed limb.)

This image is actually part of a cover for a 1920 issue of Der Orchideengarten, a fantasy magazine that ran for an impressive fifty-one issues in Munich from 1919 to 1921. After the horrors of the Great War, THIS is what people were reading to relax.

Image via the ever-awesome A Journey Round My Skull blog. There's plenty more mind-melting Orchideengarten imagery and info to be found out there, if you dare . . .

This Friday Is Out Of Context Thoapsl Says: A salt is not a defence.

Friday Is Out Of Context

Gosh, you know what's lovely? Flowers. Flowers are lovely. Everyone loves flowers.

Wouldn't it be great if we could tell a heartwarming children's tale about flowers? And we could give them all names!

And faces.

Oh god their eyes, what have we done? HOLY NO WHAT HAVE WE DONE

*aazdzzrgghghhlmnllnzz!!*

oh sweet william, please stop. please stop

It's all the fault of T. Benjamin Faucett, but I found it here.

Childhood was harsh in 1924.

This Friday Is Out Of Context Thoapsl Says: An anthropomorphism is not sneezing pollen.

Tuesday Tact Tract

Human relationships can be difficult. Here, Marvex The Super Robot has trouble responding to a compliment.

What might be a more appropriate, tactful response?

A. Thank you, Clara. You are the most wonderful man I know.

B. I reject your statement. You are incorrect.

C. *wistful smile*

D. I like your hair. I like your hair.

E. [other]

(Discuss with colleagues.)

• • • • •

Appropriate behaviour is, in fact, quite simple. When responding to compliments, you should always stare deep into the closest eyes and think of the Three Eees:

Embarrassment

Effusivity

dEfensiveness

And always remember: Tact, Tact, Tact. It's just that simple.

--the Tactful Thoapsl

(is having an odd day today)

Mondays Can Be Disturbing

Um… do I have to?

Gosh I'm pretty sure I'd rather not, actually

(via)

Friday Is Out Of Context

Do you see this match? Do you see it?

Illustrations from the old Saturday Evening Post really fascinate me. There's something really striking about this image, don't you think? (On the other hand, I think modern-day Ikea catalogues are endlessly disturbing and fascinating, so maybe it's just me.)

I could say something about the vertical composition and the blue eyes, but seriously – it's a heck of a picture, yeah?

Anyhow, the context: it's 1955, and you're not a public service announcement about forest fires, you're actually an advertisement for a timber company. BUY WOOD.

This Friday Is Out Of Context Thoapsl Says: A lumberjack is not a little match girl.

Friday Is Out Of Context

Monkey Pope Says:

Seriously guys, I know, this whole Michael Jackson reminder of tragedy and despair is hard on us all. Yes, it really is.

(for context: this is an illustration by Dorothy Lathrop for a 1942 publication of Walter de la Mere's short story "Mr. Bumps And His Monkey" – you can find the story here, and I found the image here... but it sure looks like Monkey Pope to me.

One hell of a sitcom premise, there...)

This Friday Is Out Of Context Thoapsl Says: A cardinal is not a primate.

On a more personal PS, I'm extremely busy with work this past & coming week, so apologies for the less-blogging-than-usual. Usual conditions will be reasserted in a week or two, I hope. And then – news! New things! And on my other blog I'll be publishing some scripts I've written, too!

PPS: did you know that Catholicism's concept of Papal Infallibility was only invented in 1870? You'd never guess the idea was that recent without looking it up, would you?

PPPS: I really hope that someone appreciates the multiple levels of awesomeness involved in that "cardinal/primate" pun up there. Seriously, that's at least three puns in one sentence. My day has not been wasted.

Happy Bloomsday!

Eat some kidneys and think about piss! Say hello to a lady on the beach!

Have you read the chapter that's all questions and answers? Or the one that's all musical?

It is one lurid heck of a book. Say yes!

Friday Is Out Of Context

Let's say you saw this on the cover of a magazine.

When you think of alimony, do you think of circus laundry? Personally, when I think "weapon of female revenge" I think of something a little more literal, but I suppose that's maybe a generational thing? You tell me, magazine readers of the past – what the hell is up with you people?

For increased context, here's the complete picture: cover of Coronet magazine, May 1952. (Found via.) Note that this issue apparently sold well enough to justify at least one printing of two and a half million copies. Note also that the complete picture still fails utterly to link the elephant-watches-man-hang-circus-laundry image with its "Alimony: Weapon of Female Revenge" headline, in absolutely any way. Was there a last-minute editorial change? Were they trying to appeal to that lucrative men-who-fear-women-but-love-the-circus market? Am I missing an important visual metaphor, or something? Help me out, seriously.

This Friday Is Out Of Context Thoapsl Says: An ex-wife is not an elephant in the room.

Concept Art for your Nostalgia

Turnips are great. They're especially nice baked in Cornish-style pasties.

I never thought about it, back in the day, but are those things masks... or faces?

Either way, they have no eyes. Only darkness.

*doki doki, doki doki*

(Also, Winona Nelson is great. & I saw it here first.)

Saturday Morning Is Sometimes A Bear

Click to zoom in on the caption, which is so unnecessary it's mindblowing. Saturday Evening Post of 1952, hooray.

The picture is an illustration by Stan Galli – I picked it up from here. How great are the facial expressions? (Answer: "Quite")

It originally accompanied a short story. I'm a big fan of that story's spectacular title and headline:

What chance indeed?

Giddy!

You'd think that even a couple of "giddy women" would know better than to picnic at a place called Danger Canyon, though. It's like when people climb Mt Disappointment and they're surprised that the view isn't very good.

Also the bears are cool

Friday Is Out Of Context

Yeah man, who cares. Like, tell me about it.

What's even better: the full title is officially listed at a site you could purchase it from as:

Who Cares About Elderly People ? ((Who Cares Ser.))

Of course "Ser. means the "series" it's a part of – see also – but am I the only person who instinctively reads the full list title as:

Who Cares About Elderly People ? ((Who Cares, Seriously.))

This Friday Is Out Of Context Thoapsl Says: A rhetorical question is not always questionable?

Equuququqqq?

Surprisingly busy these past seven days, what with various encomplicatory happenings & eventuations. In the meantime, do you remember this? I recently found another odd Amazonian amusement (it seems I'm a couple of years late to this one, but anyhow):

Titles like this totally attract the best reviews.

Behooves! hahahahaha rofl

Note also:

Hm.

EYES THEY ARE NOT YOUR EYES

It was the seaside. At first...

I thought of the number 10. Then I forgot about her.

Nine. The AM. She greeted me. Something sour in the smile. Something familiar, but I couldn't place it.

I failed the interview.
Eight, and getting later. I was trying to relax, but the lighting in the bar was too bright. Everything was shiny. Everything glinted. Way too bright.

I might have been staring. I decided to buy myself another drink.

Seven. The AM, they tell me. The pink is supposed to calm me down. Her smile is supposed to calm me down. It's not working.

I like her dress. Is that allowed? Tell me if that's allowed.

Six, now. I'm walking towards the group of them when I see her head turn. It's weird, though, it's almost like it rotates. The pattern on her jacket was sewn by a robot. Maybe her hat, too.

Have you been looking at the sky? It's a lovely day, it really is.

Five. It's almost five, now. They've been making me wait, you see, they've kept me waiting until it's too late. They're not even pretending to give me another chance. I'm going to need to make another appointment. I want an appointment.

Her lips look like wax. Suddenly, I remember where I know her from –

Four. She's been dyeing her hair every four days. Is she trying to throw me off the scent? Or is it the other way around?

Everything is turning red. It's a signal. It's definitely a signal. I can see her teeth. 

Three. Everything happens in threes. They think I don't notice, but I do. I'm counting everything and I don't forget.

Still red, I notice. Everything I drink. Everything in my mouth. Could she be frightened, now? I'm looking in her eyes, but all I see is 

Two. The two of us now, that's all there is.

She knows. Oh shit, she knows everything

One? Not one? Not one print, not one shred of fibre, not one scrap of evidence. Not a clue. Of course not.

I have nothing left to give her. Nothing left

Zero. I knew it. The ziggurat, she said. This was the end. Was it Mexico, still? We might have made Guatemala during the night. No way to tell.

At the edge of the jungle I took a blade to the gut. She tipped her hat and smiled like the sun coming out.

It's the new range from American Optical. 1959 is looking good.