Beware! - The Ghost Fleet of Singapore!!

The most evocative and exciting news story I've read for ages:

"The biggest and most secretive gathering of ships in maritime history lies at anchor east of Singapore. Never before photographed, it is bigger than the U.S. and British navies combined but has no crew, no cargo and no destination ..."

Isn't that a spectacular introduction? Great article, too – check it out. If you haven't already.

Some day soon I'll blog something that's more than just a link to something else . . . but on the other hand, right now I'm on a break, so some day soon isn't tomorrow. Also, it looks like I'm writing a script for an actual movie, did I tell you that? Busy times, my friends! Busy times!

I did tell you about the script thing via Twitter, but I haven't actually told you that I am a twit before now (because, look, all this tweeting is still just an experiment, and it still leaves me feeling kind of . . . dirty . . . ), so, um, anyhow. There you go. Whatevs. Vive la communique ;)

Mondays Can Be Disturbing

But not today! Check it out: have you ever seen an image more charming, more sweet, more heartwarming?

Aww yeah!

It's the wand that really makes it, I think.

I found it here, but it's originally from here – an odd site called TeeFury. Yeah, tons of sites sell novelty tee-shirts, but this TeeFury place is unique in that it puts each shirt on sale for one day only! By the time I discovered the Unicornasaurus, I was already too late . . .  :(

Heck of a hook to grab regular traffic & impulsive sales, huh?

Friday Is Out Of Context

Gosh, you know what's lovely? Flowers. Flowers are lovely. Everyone loves flowers.

Wouldn't it be great if we could tell a heartwarming children's tale about flowers? And we could give them all names!

And faces.

Oh god their eyes, what have we done? HOLY NO WHAT HAVE WE DONE

*aazdzzrgghghhlmnllnzz!!*

oh sweet william, please stop. please stop

It's all the fault of T. Benjamin Faucett, but I found it here.

Childhood was harsh in 1924.

This Friday Is Out Of Context Thoapsl Says: An anthropomorphism is not sneezing pollen.

Tuesday Tact Tract

Human relationships can be difficult. Here, Marvex The Super Robot has trouble responding to a compliment.

What might be a more appropriate, tactful response?

A. Thank you, Clara. You are the most wonderful man I know.

B. I reject your statement. You are incorrect.

C. *wistful smile*

D. I like your hair. I like your hair.

E. [other]

(Discuss with colleagues.)

• • • • •

Appropriate behaviour is, in fact, quite simple. When responding to compliments, you should always stare deep into the closest eyes and think of the Three Eees:

Embarrassment

Effusivity

dEfensiveness

And always remember: Tact, Tact, Tact. It's just that simple.

--the Tactful Thoapsl

(is having an odd day today)

Rage Roundup @ August 2009

Winter rolls to its bitter close. (Okay, not that bitter. I had an okay time.) And it brings a swag of indie prog rock to listen to, oddly enough; I wasn't expecting that. Thanks again for all your lovely music videos, Rage!

I should point out, there's nothing here that really feels like 1970s-type prog rock; there's no definitive '70s stylings, no genuine '70s modes. And maybe these '00s tunes here, unlike '70s prog, aren't really trying to be 'experimental' or 'progressive'? They're just trying to be musical and interesting, I think. And besides that they're all too modest, too self-aware, too Gen Y. That's not prog! So. 'Prog-ish', let's say; or just, 'progressive'?

Aw heck, who cares. It's a vague word for a fuzzy genre, anyhow. Bring it on.

(You know what's awesome, by the way? This is awesome. Yes. Shut up.)

Introducing Palace Players — Mew

Quick, watch it before Sony notices! 'Embedding disabled by request', oh Sony you ridiculous fools, you . . .

These folks are Danish, apparently. That's nice. Anyhow, they've made a seriously beautiful video. The photography is gorgeously cool; the visuals are superb. Also, the subject matter: creepy floating alien laser cubes in a forest? Lovely! It's striking and evocative, and all the better for being unexplained.

More than the video, what really makes this worthwhile is the music. I'm always pleased when a song is not only (musically) unusual and interesting, but also clever enough to maintain a decent sense of dynamics. Far too many 'artsy' or 'intelligent' bands regress by default into dull, meandering mush, but not here. Listen to the spark in those rhythms, the barbed wire in the guitar! It's indie and intellectual but it's never boring, and it never collapses into wimp-rock. Fine, intriguing stuff.

Old Money — Hungry Kids Of Hungary

Look, it's the unexpectedly epic new single from the Hungry Kids of Hungary (of Brisbane). Their earlier indieguitarpop singles had shown good songwriting chops (though, never quite good enough for me to include them in a Rage Roundup before;), but this is something else: they've taken an unexpected turn into Wings-ish, almost Queen-ish piano balladry. The hook at the tune's heart provokes an unusual song structure to hold things in place, but as a whole it actually works quite well. Solid piano chords and falsetto harmonies ride over a broken-leg momentum (almost Hey Jude–like) that's a real kick. It's familiar, but not overtly nostalgic; and it's never too familiar (occasional McCartneyisms notwithstanding). Addictive stuff, and it improves with multiple listens. I like it.

Also, note: bow ties. Totally a fashion again. Huh.

(With that in mind: if anything, the video is maybe a bit too mocking & cheap-jokey for its own good; the melody is strong enough that they could easily play the emotions straight and get away with it. It's the type of strong, catchy song that could honestly be a real crossover hit if given a bit of airplay, I think.)

Black River Killer — Blitzen Trapper

I liked Blitzen Trapper's 2007 album, but despite several moments of brilliance it was honestly a little uneven . . . and worst of all, the production had this terrible, terribly modern-style mix that almost ruined it. The kind of mix where all the levels are balanced too high, so it sounds punchy and loud on a car radio but there's no clarity or depth. A mix like that is not necessarily a deal-breaker, but it was bad news for Blitzen Trapper; they tend to have a lot of subtlety in their arrangements, an unusual folk-rock vs electronica sound, and it's the kind of thing that needs precision and clarity to sound its best, I think. So although I've been curious, I've so far resisted getting their follow-up album, Furr. However: based on this single, I might have to stop resisting. This here music is A+.

The song is a bluesy ballad with a country-folk arrangement, which would be nice enough in itself, except, except – oh, it's much better than that. Listen! The fierce bursts of electric guitar punctuating the verse's turnaround chords – the tense musical restraint and laidback vocal, screaming to explode, that never does – the synth melody like a violin 21C, like an antique UFO – the spiralling chord progressions – the snare rippling its frustration – brilliant! Even the little turns of phrase in the lyrics, simple but smart: the best kind of balladry. And check out the excellent video, which perfectly matches the musical mood via clever effects editing and inventive, creepy imagery. (Not to mention the washed-out and dreamlike exposure of the film itself, which creates a great visual punchline when we get to the 'black river' of the finale.) There's also a great sense of menace implied by never showing the protagonist's face: it's simple, but very effective. Splendid.

And to top it all off, even the mix sounds pretty alright. Maybe I should go buy the whole album after all.

That was August. I'm tempted to include Calvin Harris's Ready For The Weekend as a Bonus (!) – that lad sure knows how to produce an effectively excellent pop song, alright – but you've probably heard that one already. Instead, how about some new-school old-school punk? Check out Hungry And Tired, by The Riot. That's pretty stupidly generic band name, but they are from Brisbane. It's also a pretty stupidly generic punk song, to be honest, but gosh I really do like the particular way that the singer sings 'I was hungry, and I was tired . . .' – what can I say? I enjoyed it.

Also, please pay attention to Golden Silvers and The Mint Chicks. Whole bunch of good things released by them, lately . . .

Gosh gosh gosh gosh! Musicamusicamusics!

Awesome. I reckon this must be the time for me to stop typing.

Until next time . . .

--the Musical Thoapsl

Mondays Can Be Disturbing

Um… do I have to?

Gosh I'm pretty sure I'd rather not, actually

(via)

Synaesthesia

I usually don't do linkblogs, but goodness me: this is spectacularly awesome, I think.

Hat-tip to the fine people of io9, and there's more detail here.

(Pic unrelated. But if it intrigues you, you should really go check this out.)

Things learned during the Melbourne International Film Festival

1. Spending about 1000% more time than usual watching movies really shakes things up, let me tell you. I ran out of food, I grew out my hair, I changed my brand of anti-perspirant. Heck of a fortnight all over.

2. If you see a film which has an awesome twist in it, but the only reason the twist works is because you aren't even slightly expecting it, you're in a pickle: how can you convince people to go see this film without hinting at the twist's existence? If you describe the film's premise and people just say "aw, that doesn't sound that interesting, can you lend me five bucks?" – how do you convince them that the story isn't as dull and obvious as it sounds, without making them think that there might be something unusual and twisty about it? Ah, it's a pickle...

Moral: if I say a film is great but I can't convincingly explain why, you should go see it anyhow.

3. Subtitles (in English) for actors speaking in thick accents (in English): insulting to the (English-speaking) audience, an overreaction, or just incredibly distracting? Okay, okay, in the end I guess it wasn't as distracting as it might have been, and I'm sure those audience members unfamiliar with the Yorkshire patois were appreciative, but holy cats! Subtitles Were Annoying.

Films were pretty fine, though.

4. Australian Horror Films. I've been seeing a lot of them lately, I should really do a whole post on the topic. But instead I'll just shut up and tell you this: you should see Lake Mungo. The only modern Australian horror film that might rival it for quality would be Wolf Creek, but that's a really inappropriate comparison – the two films could hardly be more different. Lake Mungo is a ghost story (which is rare), and it's a horror that goes for deep chills rather than shock-jolt scares (which is even rarer). I saw it in a dead silent, almost-deserted cinema: the perfect viewing environment for non-jokey horror. It's excellent.

Lake Mungo did not play in the 2009 Melbourne International Film Festival. It has had only a limited cinematic release in Australia, and that within this last month or so, but it was picked up for an American remake nine months ago. Somebody needs a bigger marketing budget, okay.

5. Latauro is surprisingly recognisable. The guy is everywhere.

6. Is Korean cinema in some kind of a golden age for creepy, off-kilter films this past decade, or what? Park Chan-Wook has been doing absolutely brilliant stuff for a while, but I was really doubtful that anyone could do anything worthwhile or new with vampires, anymore. I was totally wrong. I also thought that while The Host was a great monster film, it was probably a one-off; I didn't imagine that it had been made by any especially brilliant filmmakers. Again, I was wrong.

Anyhow, the films "Thirst" and "Mother": I recommend them.

7. Nazi Zombies. Exactly what you were expecting, but in a very satisfying way.

That's a lot of points related to horror films, isn't it? I did see a bunch of artsy intellectual movies, too. In other words:

Blue Beard

Oh, Catherine Breillat, you crazy kidder! Good one.

The White Ribbon

So, hey, Michael Haneke, are you extremely clever? In all seriousness, I honestly can't tell. I think so? Probably? I think so. But I'm going to have to think about it some more. And this is not a bad thing. I think.

(I'm not being sarcastic, here, btw...)

And that's not everything I saw, but it's enough to be bothered writing about, I think.

--the Cinematic Thoapsl