MISTAKES BEING MADE

Bending Point

2010-07-04T19:51:00.007+10:00

Here I am.

Following my last post, gosh! Changes in my life have been smooth but sharp, light but weighty. I am now a full-time editor (of BOOKS, my friend, yes! I am an honest and professional editor of BOOKS), which is an interesting new lifestyle to adjust to. My time is different: no more of the student life for me. Strange and not strange.

So. I've been thinking about this blog. I think it's time to make a change here, too. My personal time is more limited than it used to be, and my non-blog creative commitments (scripting & noveling) have been backburnering for too long. So I think it's time to refocus myself on those other things, and to put these Mistakes Being Made on a more permanent sort of hiatus. Possibly actually permanent, I mean. As in: no more this blog.

This has always been a very casual, experimental & ad hoc little blog – something for my own fun, rather than any serious attempt to build an audience or anything – but I've got to the point where, like I said, things need to change. Focus or no focus, do or do not. Etc.

When I come back to blogging – whether here, or somewhere new – it'll be with a much clearer sense of purpose and focus, I hope. If I decide I want to focus on music, then I'll do a Rage Roundup every week and I'll be an active presence on other music sites to try to actually build an audience, and so on. Or if I decide to do a blog that focuses on some other thing, then I'll focus on that some other thing instead. And if I decide to do another random meandery half-hearted self-indulgent blog like this one, then I guess I'll do it like this again; but at least I'll try to do it in a much more focused and wholehearted way, I think. If you're going to do something, better to do it right; better to try to do it best, don't you think?

(Or, better to do something that will actually get more readers to comment more often, at the very least...)

So, anyhow. That's what I've been thinking. And that's what I'm going to do, I think.

In the meantime: I may be about to give up long-form textual blogging for a while, but I'll be continuing to post beautiful (mostly) wordless content over at my other miniblog, the wonderful looktime.tumblr.com, which is freaking awesome and you should totally be following. (Seriously, go there, it's great. It's mostly not my stuff, it's just stuff that I like. You'll like it too, I bet.)

Thanks for everything.

More later.

: O

2010-05-26T09:45:00.006+10:00

Still on blogging hiatus (more-or-less*) while I wrap up the final weeks of my postgrad course, but I absolutely had to share this:

OMFXZG people, freaking NINJA BEAR! Bear thinks it's Donatello!

awwwww yeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

(via twitter@laura_hudson)

*full disclosure, re the "more" of "more-or-less": I have, in fact, lately begun miniblogging** over on Tumblr. Rather than writing full-on wordy wordfests like I do here on this blog, over at looktime.tumblr.com I've just been posting all sorts of interesting images & things, as a kind of record of my internet-image-discovery as I go along.

It's like scrapbooking, the way I see it; it's assembling and collaging, rather than creating content from scratch. Tumblr is built around the easy re-blogging of other people's content, so it's good for that sort of thing. And also, compared to real blogging, Tumblring takes pretty much no time at all! (It's the lack of vowels. And, uh, the general lack of words. And the fact that you can "generate" all your content just by copying stuff directly over from other people's Tumblrs, if you like...)

So, looktime! Please enjoy.

**In the olden times before the "personal computer" existed, the "minicomputer" was a type of computer just a bit bigger and more complex than a "microcomputer"; and so if Twitter is microblogging, then I figure Tumblr must definitely be "miniblogging". Please spread the word.

Priorities

2010-05-16T18:14:00.007+10:00

So, it turns out that under pressure, my work priorities resolve like this:

1. Work that I am being paid to do
2. Work that I am paying to do
3. Work that I wish I were being paid to do

I bet you can figure out which category this blog falls into.

Lucky me, though, I only have one more month before my #2 ceases to exist! And that will bump my #3 endeavours up into second place! Right on. Looking forward to it, definitely . . . :)

In the meantime, let me tell about my Saturday morning. I was at my relatives' house in Essendon, looking through the window and wondering what time it was. The sky was a really stunning bright blue, but the clock said 5 o'clock, so that didn't seem right. I looked at the other clock, over on the bench; but that clock said 8 o'clock, which made even less sense.

It was about then I realised that it didn't make sense because I was dreaming. Feeling a bit silly about that, I woke up. (It was kind of neat that I woke up because I realised I was dreaming, right? That doesn't happen every day, definitely.)

I got out of bed and walked to the bathroom, but there I noticed that the toilet cistern was missing – weirdly, it looked like it had somehow become completely recessed into the wall. That didn't make any sense.

It was about then I realised that it didn't make sense because I was dreaming. Still. Ha! Fully conscious of this fact and feeling quite ridiculous, I put in a more serious effort to make sure that this time, I was waking up properly.

Having woken up properly now, I was immediately compelled to tell this story to someone else. How ridiculous was it that I would realise I was dreaming and so wake up, only to realise that I was still dreaming and then actually wake up?! Bizarre, definitely. So I was telling this story, but I couldn't actually hear my own voice very well because my ears were a bit blocked up. I tried blowing my nose gently to make the air pressure pop. Now, I'm always a bit wary of doing stuff to my ears (you can burst your eardrums if you do something stupid, can't you?), but I kept blowing and then I started to feel kind of weird, and the weird feeling kind of 'expanded' in my head – it was very strange, not entirely pleasant, and it didn't seem to make any sense.

It was about then I realised that it didn't make sense because I was dreaming.

So then I woke up, for the third time, and immediately I burst out laughing and didn't stop for at least a minute.

Let me tell you, it was a heck of a way to start a Saturday.

--the Drowsy Thoapsl

Soon

2010-04-21T20:32:00.006+10:00

Whoo!

Lately, I have been way too busy to give this blog the attention it deserves; luckily, however, my busyness is not quite at Axe Cop's level, yet. (Axe Cop being the webcomic from which the sublime moment above derives.) Most of my specific busynesses look to be cooling down soon, too – but anyhow, we'll see how that goes . . .

In the meantime, I also wanted to draw your attention to what may be the greatest news headline of all time: the "Ash Dash Rash Cash Splash". Subeditors of Fairfax, I salute you.

)

--Thoapsl

No, I Am An Unsuccessful Bounty Hunter

2010-04-18T14:40:00.008+10:00

Woke up this morning out of a strangely vivid dream, in which I had been interested to learn that Kirk Douglas supplied the voice for Bossk* in Return Of The Jedi**.

*(Bossk is an absurdly obscure Star Wars character. The only reason I know about him, I swear, is because I once found a defective Bossk™ Official Star Wars™ Action Figure in a random showbag at the Castlemaine Show. Both of his legs were right legs, so the one attached to his left hip looked like it was on backwards. When you're 10 years old, this is the kind of event that will make a nameless character's name stick in your head forever.)

Furthermore, Kirk Douglas had supposedly done this celebrity cameo voice because he was famous in real life for saying "Tssk!" a lot. Hence, the popcultural pun value of his cameo voice for Bossk.

**(Also, you know what? I'm pretty sure Bossk isn't actually in Return Of The Jedi, he's only in that one quick scene in Empire Strikes Back with all the bounty hunters. Also, I'm pretty sure Bossk has no dialogue for Kirk Douglas to voice, unless maybe he just hisses or growls or something for half a second? – How could my subconscious mind have gotten this wrong? And also I am not a Star Wars nerd, I just have a good memory, okay, honestly, shut up)

What the heck is my mind doing, dreaming this stuff? I'm dreaming about imaginary false anecdotes from the annals of fake film history, now? And, I mean, "Tssk!"? What? I mean, seriously, whatttf?

So, in conclusion:

It has been a very long, strange couple of weeks. Sorry about that.

Absolutely Nothing To Do With Easter

2010-04-04T13:57:00.013+10:00

– but I was just watching music videos on Rage*, and I had to share this with you:

(You have to promise to watch the entire thing, though. Or at least until you get to the part with the giant floating head of death.)

Also it's widescreen, so you might want to click through to embiggen.

UPDATE! The remarkable Geoff Klock has written a fine analysis of this very video, wherein he explains that you can interpret the whole thing as a kind of allegory for the music industry. Fantastic :)

*PS "hey Thoapsl, whatever happened to the Rage Roundup?" "yeah, um . . . I'll be getting back to it eventually, honest . . ." *excuses, etc*

YSTR!

2010-04-02T12:38:00.008+11:00

FEAR IT

. . .

Or not, whatever.

A holiday is always a fine thing – enjoy a hot cross bun, if you like.

(Or, a cross hot bun? Hmm.)

Viva hols.

Two or Three Things for Tuesday

2010-03-30T21:33:00.008+11:00

Hey look! Two recent points of interest, each one in the form of a pointedly interesting sequence of words. These aren't short articles, but if you've 15 minutes or so to spare then I totally recommend you check them out:

1. Spectacular true story (via Wired) of a genius Canadian thief. (Do those last three words go together often, or rarely?) It's another great story from Winnipeg – how aboot that?

2. Okay, this one may be a bit intimidating, but repeat after me RIGHT ON I AM A HEAVY THINKER, I EAT YOUR PHILOSOPHY FOR BREAKFAST AND THEN I SPIT IT BACK IN YOUR FACE and you'll be cool.* This article is a fascinating metaphysical argument for justifying the existence of reality, via a big simple idea that I've never seen before.

And yeah, I think the existence of reality is definitely a problem – as in, "why does it exist?". I've never before known an answer that didn't fall back to "just because it does, that's why", or "a wizard did it", or else some version of the anthropic principle. But while this article's argument is not without potential flaws, it's still very, very intriguing. And it also provides a really nifty angle on the old "like, what if we're all being simulated inside a giant computer, like the matrix, like – how could we tell? Like, dude, whoa" chestnut.

If you can stand to read the whole article, please tell me what you think!

*Philosophy is all about intellectual confidence, remember. Why do think Socrates drank that poison? CONFIDENCE.

Also! Bonus Point of Interest! (if you haven't seen it already):

Michael Buble, Stalked By A Velociraptor.

'night :)

Sunday Night Tumbln' Tumblrweeds

2010-03-28T17:23:00.001+11:00

When you tumbl your attentions across a numbr of tumblrs, a numbr of those tumblrs' pics are bound to fiercely tumbl themselves onto & into your memories (both electronical & neurological). Or something like that. Does that make sense? What about the spelling? It's got something to do with hipsters, apparently, but I try not to hold that against it.

So: can you guess the common theme for these images? It's a three-word phrase . . .

(Via.)

. . . it's a line of dialogue, i.e. a line you'd expect to hear spoken aloud . . .

(Via.)

. . . it would probably end with an exclamation mark . . .

(Via.)

If you can think of a three-word phrase that would be exclaimed aloud and is cryptically applicable to each of these pictures, leave your guess in the comments! You might win!

(Is that an intriguing game, or a completely annoying and pointless one? Or both? Please let me know – it's late on a Sunday and my good judgment isn't necessarily itself, I think . . . this morning I ate nachos for breakfast . . .)

Intriguing images, yes? The internet is a fine and lovely domain.

Rule #1: Don't Go To Bed Hungry

2010-03-24T21:49:00.011+11:00

I tell you what, I think those freaking Top 10 lists really took it out of me. Shortly after posting the final list, I succumbed to a mildly bizarre illness – a kind of feverish, throaty sleeping sickness – and it's taken me more than a week since then to move beyond "miserably ill" and back to mere "croaky ill-temper". What did I miss while I was out?

Lucky for you, wiser webfolk than I have been able to provide commentary on the world in my absence, of which I shall now reproduce a pertinent example:

No, wait – I think that happened before the last Top 10? Aw, whatevs. Let's just assume business as usual & no worries, then.

On the other hand, I'm pretty sure that you aren't reading this blog in order to receive commentary on current events. On the original hand – are you, actually? Should I be blogging more commentary on current events? Please let me know, if so . . .

Either way, more blogging soon. I've been collecting a fine swag of interesting images without any particular purpose, so I think I'm going to start posting the images without any particular purpose. Just to share, you know. The way all those fancy awesome tumblr kids are doing blog*, these days.

For example: this. I'm not sure where this came from, but apparently it's by someone called Michael Page, who would appear to be kind of awesome. (Click the image for a closer look, I think it's worth it.)

Nice and interesting, huh?

All right. And now: nachos.

Good night :)

*Yeah, "doing blog". That's what I wrote.

Top 10 #1: Top 10 Best Numbers Between 1 and 10

2010-03-12T15:39:00.006+11:00

And so we come to the end of a particularly daft enterprise. But better to reach an ending than to abandon a program unfinished, right?

Hm. Either way, I've now finally reached the most profound and meaningful of my Top 10 Top 10 Lists That Don't Really Deserve To Be Top 10 Lists:

It's

The Top 10 Best Numbers Between 1 and 10!

10. 9

9. 5

8. 1.01

7. 3

6. e

5. π

4. 6

3. δ

2. 2

1. φ

Why these numbers, you ask? Hypothetical reader, I am glad that you ask (or in fact, that you allow me rhetorically to ask you).

It's the biggest numeral we have: after 9, all we have left is 0 again. Also, it creates a hypnotically symmetrical square, which is kind of neat, don't you think?:

Symbolism, magic, political power: that's 5. It crops up surprisingly often, if you look for it.

1.01

This should be an obvious choice, shouldn't it? It's 1, but it's a bit more than 1. It's a symbol of improvement, of education, of progress. Doesn't it make you feel better, just looking at it?

The smallest number that's big enough to be genuinely numberish. 3 things are enough things to create a whole bunch of problems that literally can't be solved. 3 contains enough complexity to generate a universe.

It's a bit more than 2. It's all natural. It's a pleasantly fractal concept to base your logarithms on, if you need some logarithms. And hey, who doesn't need logarithms? Who doesn't like logs? Who doesn't like rhythms? Answer: nobody! (FACT.)

Obviously.

For making us happier, and in particular for giving us the best opportunity to giggle at New Zealand accents.

By which I'm talking about the Feigenbaum constant, 4.669201609etc. This number emerges at the heart of complex systems like the weather, or the economy, or pretty much every system of interacting relationships in our world. This constant is our sublime proof that chaos theory is not chaotic. So, you know; it's kind of important, and it's kind of neat.

The loneliest number, next to number 1. (So, it's not so lonely.) This can still be problematic, but it's also pretty nice.

By which I'm talking about the number of the Golden Ratio, 1.6180339887etc. (And yeah, the Silver Ratio probably also deserves some respect, but that's another story.) This number is the ratio of ratios: it's everywhere, even when it's not, and it's the reason that most nice architecture and design looks so nice. For services to aesthetics, recognised & unrecognised: thanks, φ.

Cheers.

--the listless thoapsl

International Women's Day

2010-03-08T17:18:00.011+11:00

is today, how about that.

I think I'd like to say something about it, but I'm not sure what. Feminism can be difficult to talk about (Gosh, really?). If you agree with me, then I'm (uselessly) preaching to the converted; but if you disagree, then our disagreements are probably fundamental and/or quite subtle (& so, either way, probably v difficult to discuss intelligently via interweb). And anyhow, why should you care what I think about it?

But this is my blog, so I'm going to do it anyway.

What I think "about women" – uh, politically speaking – has spiralled around in different directions as I've grown up, I think. As a kid of leftish-lowermiddleclassy parents, I internalised the status quo of 1980s-90s political correctness: there is sexism in the world, women are treated badly and unfairly, this is bad and unfair. But as a teenager it dawned on me that being male wasn't all steak and glory, either; there were unexpectedly bad aspects to being a man in the modern world, too. For example: pop culture seemed to be telling me that boys were foolish and troublesome and evil, most of the time. And I felt like I was being told that girls could do anything, but simultaneously that boys could not. When you're adolescent, any potential unfairness (towards yourself) is a red rag, so this apparent "stupid boys will be stupid boys" meme bugged me a lot. Were girls now getting the best of everything, and always the benefit of the doubt? Had feminism "gone too far in the other direction"?

No. No, it hadn't, and I feel kind of stupid now for even considering sentiments like that. But it took me a few more years to see the world clearly from a few more sides, other than my own. And I had been privileged to grow up in an environment where sexism against women was sometimes less than obvious, I think; maybe that was why it took me a while to see and understand all the things that other people were thinking, the ways that they were acting, the ways in which they were being affected. Actions and consequences, assumptions and beliefs – these aren't always obvious. (Obviously.)

This is what I assume and believe, now: that the similarities across gender are nowhere near as significant as the differences between individuals. I've never known a woman who was more of a woman than a person. But I know most people don't agree with me, they don't believe this; instead, most people think that there are a bunch of crucial, essential commonalities to men and to women, and that these gender-commonalities are more significant than anything else. And to me that's the essential problem of sexism, because I believe that gender is not actually as significant as we make it – or at least, it doesn't have to be. Sexism, like racism, is bad because it's essentially untrue.

So our status quo is messed up, I think. And everyone in our society is disadvantaged by the false assumptions of sexism – that's what I was confused to learn as a young teen, that men (i.e. me) were sometimes being disadvantaged too. But that's not to say that men have it worse overall, because they don't. You can't see the world honestly without seeing that it still disadvantages women far worse than men, I think. (There are so many examples, I'm not even going to get into them; not today, anyhow.)

So. To me, this is International Women's Day: it's a reminder that things are still bad. (Though thankfully much, much better now than they ever used to be; & people sometimes underestimate just how much better, I think.) There are still a whole bunch of big fat sexist problems, all over the place. It makes me feel like I'm always needing to think hard and pay attention and act bravely and behave well, to do my part to make things better. Be fair. Don't be a dick.

International Women's Day: Don't Forget.

So that's what it means to me and what I think about it, I guess.

But, ah, what a serious and humourless post! (Not to mention, possibly patronising, stupid, facile, self-indulgent, myopic, wrong? I don't even know . . . but please tell me in the comments.)

Sorry, folks. To cheer us up, here's a picture of a pony:

Right on.

Top 10 #2: Top 10 Actors That I Can't Remember The Name Of, But Then When I See Their Faces I Go "Oh Yeah, I Know Them"

2010-03-04T14:42:00.004+11:00

I knew this list would be tricky. How do I list the actors whose names I can't remember, when by definition I can't remember their names? Luckily I must be some kind of genius, because I've done it. Take that, logical paradox!

I had some strict conditions for this list: they had to be actors whose identities I honestly didn't know, but whose faces I definitely knew. I also wanted to avoid the big-time character actors whom I know well enough to almost remember the names of, like the great J. T. Walsh or Jeffrey Jones. So! The latest of my Top 10 Top 10 Lists That Don't Really Deserve To Be Top 10 Lists:

It's

The Top 10 Actors That I Can't Remember The Name Of, But Then When I See Their Faces I Go "Oh Yeah, I Know Them"!*

10. Harris Yulin

I almost never watch TV crime shows, but this guy has been a judge a bunch of times, hasn't he? Or maybe I'm just thinking of Ghostbusters II. (Loved that movie.)

9. Juliet Stevenson

Oh man, how the hell do I know her? She's so familiar, but I have no idea.

8. Donal Logue

Oh yeah, it's that slightly-chubby-supporting-actor guy. Man, he's been in a ton of things.

7. Mickey Jones

Yeah, that guy! The guy who won't shave his big scraggly beard, so he always gets cast as "old biker" and "guy with beard"! That's a niche and a half.

Also, he was the drummer on Bob Dylan's 1966 world tour after Levon Helm quit. (True!)

6. Cara Seymour

It's really hard to find a distinctively recognisable image of her face, but I know who she is when I see her – and according to IMDb, she's had supporting roles in a ton of films that I've liked. Red Riding, Hotel Rwanda, Birth, Adaptation, American Psycho, Dancer In The Dark ...

With great credits like that, you'd think I would remember her name by now, huh?

5. Clancy Brown

Yeah, this guy! He was in Carnivale, and he had a small part on Lost, and he was in Starship Troopers? And some other things? And also he looks a bit like that other guy, the one who played that alien guy on The X-Files.

4. Jane Adams

You remember, she was in that creepy-but-very-good Happiness film? I can almost remember her name, but not quite. And she always seems to be in things with that other guy.

3. Marshall Bell

You remember this guy? He's been in a whole bunch of things: gym teacher in Nightmare On Elm Street II, deformed freak in Total Recall. Bunch of tv shows, too. Ring any bells?

2. Hope Davis

I am absolutely on the verge of remembering her name in the future. She's charismatic as hell. (Also: what did you think of Synecdoche, New York?)

1. Joey Slotnick

Oh, man. This guy. This poor guy. I feel like I've seen this guy playing a geeky "Loser Guy" in movies and on tv forever. I feel like I should be feeling sorry for him, and I don't even know who he is, let alone why. (Though, maybe I'm getting him slightly confused with somebody else who looks a bit like him?)

Man. How odd.

*PS: I know it would be better to say "actors that I can't remember the names of" rather than "name of", but for humour's sake that entire sentence is a clumsy and inelegant construction in the first place, so get off my back, grammar pedants! Settle down! :)

--the Editorial Thoapsl

Positive Randomivity for the Week

2010-02-27T14:24:00.005+11:00

I don't who made this, but I'm very glad they did.

Top 10 #3: Top 10 Sports That I Expect I Will Never Play

2010-02-25T16:02:00.008+11:00

Sports are like those secret conspiracy societies; if they don't recruit you into their New World Order by your mid-20s, chances are you'll never get to meet the Lizard Emperor. By which I mean, it may now be too late for me to take up amateur kickboxing.

Other hand: some sports, I don't even like the idea of playing! Ten years ago, I would have given myself an at-least-remote chance to do virtually anything; but whether from lack of desire or lack of opportunity, I figure there are now plenty of sports that I will never actually play. As in, seriously: never.

A chilling vision of things not to come? Either way, here's the latest of my Top 10 Top 10 Lists That Don't Really Deserve To Be Top 10 Lists.

It's

The Top 10 Sports That I Expect I Will Never Play!

10. Triathlon

A way to ruin your day at the beach, and to ruin an otherwise pleasant bicycle ride. No!

NOOOOOOO!!!!!

9. Polo

The traditional horse or elephant, that is. (I've alluded to my feelings about horses before.) I am possibly open to bicycle, however.

8. Parkour

Let's face it, I'm not getting any younger . . .

7. Sumo

And sacrifice my trim figure? Heck no! Also, it's apparently kind of corrupt.

6. Curling

Not that I wouldn't be happy to play a good curl, given the opportunity – but I live in a rather temperate clime, and where am I going to find the right kind of big flat stone and stiff broom? Anyone know?

To be fair, I probably won't soon be playing any sport that features in the Winter Olympics. (Unfortunately? What do you think?)

5. Hurling

Yeah, what? No, apparently Hurling is this:

What? No thanks.

4. Pelota

I don't have anything against pelota; it just seems kind of unlikely. When was the last time someone asked you to play pelota? Also (apparently): it only exists in Florida so that people can gamble on it. And the ball moves so fast that it kills people. Hmm.

3. American Football

I actually quite like watching this game, it's a pretty great spectator sport . . .

. . . but how and why would I ever actually play it?

(Also, I will not put on a helmet and shoulderpads AND lycra pants. That's just asking for trouble.)

2. Lacrosse

I'm not even sure what lacrosse is, honestly. Is it an American thing? Something like pelota, but less fatal? The sport of youthful American yuppies? Baskets are involved, somehow? I'm completely unsure; when it comes to US culture, 1980s high school movies only tell me so much.

1. Golf

Because golf is the game of bastards, frankly. The game of media magnates and corrupt politicians. The game of racial discrimination and upper-class privilege. The game of Auric Goldfinger.

Also: so difficult! Why do they make the hole so tiny, and so far away? It's the game of bastards, all down the line.

Graped In The Face

2010-02-22T13:35:00.010+11:00

Q. What's the difference between pinot noir and merlot?
A. Nothing, suckers.

So yeah, you remember how that movie Sideways did so well? It was a fine film: Paul Giamatti drinks a whole lot of Californian wine, rants about how pinot noir is so great and merlot is so terrible.

Mmm. Grapes.

Most people who saw Sideways immediately decided that, yes, indeed:

1. pinot noir is brilliant

2. all other wines – especially merlot – are really just fermented hackjuice

There was thus an instant craze in the market for pinot wine, and a corresponding crash in demand for the less respectable grapes (like merlot and shiraz). So: a group of French wine merchants decided to scam the American market by repackaging 13.5 MILLION LITRES of their excess merlot and shiraz wine as pinot noir, instead.

A couple of years later, French auditors became suspicious of some unusually cheap "pinot" grape transactions; a few days ago, a French court unravelled the scam and found a cartel of Carcassonne wine merchants guilty of fraud.

Mugshot!

In the meantime, how many American wine drinkers had figured out that they weren't actually drinking pinot noir? Here is a picture of them all:

Aw, it was only 13.5 million litres . . .

Up!

2010-02-17T11:21:00.014+11:00

Go! Presence! Action! Now!

I finally have internet access again. This is a fine and helpful thing. While absent from the internet these past weeks, I missed all sorts of interesting things. For example:

1. SHOCK! Sparkly vampire star Robert Pattinson really hates vaginas! TRUE! SHOCK!

2: Tina Fey made the cover of Vogue! People are annoyed because Vogue photoshopped her scar away, but even so – Happy Anna Howard Shaw Day!

3. Young George Clooney.

Hmm. I'm going to need some time to process all this, I think.

Top 10 #4: Top 10 Least Respectable Titles Of Philip K. Dick Novels

2010-02-10T09:40:00.003+11:00

I'm a big fan of Philip K. Dick, but his reputation has problems. Despite writing a lot of deeply intelligent and seriously "literary" fiction, most of his work was originally published as science fiction – and in the city of literature, SF is usually considered a contemptible ghetto. (To be fair, most books published as SF aren't very good; but on the other hand, most books aren't very good, either.)

This is all a shame, but Dick's reputation isn't helped by the frequently bizarre titles of his works. Even the great and memorable ones – Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?, We Can Remember It For You Wholesale, and Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said – are still kind of daft. And they're often unusually long, which puts a lot of people off; that's probably why those first two titles were renamed Blade Runner and Total Recall for the movie remakes*.

Many of Dick's books are great, but some people just can't get past the ridiculous, oh-so-science-fictiony titles – "I'm not reading that!" – and it really is a damn shame. So with that in mind, here's the latest of my Top 10 Top 10 Lists That Don't Really Deserve To Be Top 10 Lists.

*Both those movies are only loose adaptations of the original stories, it should be pointed out. Very, very loose.

It's

The Top 10 Least Respectable Titles Of Philip K. Dick Novels!

10. The Zap Gun

This one almost works, actually – it's so plainly generic that it almost feels ironic (which it is). But it's still embarrassingly generic.

9. Confessions Of A Crap Artist

I assume this was bowdlerised for publication, and should really have been Confessions Of A Bullshit Artist (or is "bullshit artist" only an Australian idiom?). As it is, it doesn't seem to quite make sense – is "crap artist" even a real phrase? Either way, it's a misleading title for what is actually a very serious, sad and intelligent novel (and also, fwiw, not science-fictional at all).

8. Our Friends From Frolix 8

The "our friends from" tag is an intriguing allusion, but you can't take any book seriously when it's about a place called Frolix 8.

7. The Three Stigmata Of Palmer Eldritch

Oh, come on. "Palmer Eldritch"? Seriously?

6. Galactic Pot-Healer

Anything with "galactic" in the title always sounds like a parody. And "pot-healer" sounds like a weird drug reference. (However: believe it or not, the book really is about a guy who "heals" ceramic pots. Yeah. A pot-healer. Honestly – who would guess that from the title?)

5. A Maze Of Death

Hopelessly generic title: it sounds like an episode of Doctor Who. (Probably a very entertaining episode of Doctor Who, mind you – but it's still not respectable.)

4. The Crack In Space

Hopelessly generic title, and it allows for bum jokes.

3. The Game-Players Of Titan

Game-players from Titan are not a topic of respectable fiction. They're just not. (As far as titles go, it's also bereft of drama and very boring.)

2. Dr Bloodmoney, Or How We Got Along After The Bomb

It's not a parody of Dr Strangelove, yet the title is a direct reference. So it doesn't even make sense, except as the tackiest of marketing strategies; it's just odd. What were the publishers thinking?

1. Clans Of The Alphane Moon

Any fiction that uses the word "clan" (without also, at some point, using the word "kilt") is raising a red flag; to me, it's always going to look like some crappy fantasy novel. And if it also uses the word "moon", I'm going to go straight ahead and logically assume that it's all about caveman sex.

(You just clicked on that "caveman sex" link, didn't you? Yeah, I know what you like.)

And there you have it.

Gosh, I sure hope my new home internet connection is active by now . . .

Top 10 #5: Top 10 Pseudonyms Used By Undercover Ticket Inspectors On Melbourne Public Transport

2010-02-03T16:53:00.001+11:00

Finally – one of my Top 10 Top 10 Lists That Don't Really Deserve To Be Top 10 Lists that may actually save your bacon!

For those of you travelling on public transport in Melbourne, whether train, tram or bus, take heed: always beware the ticket inspectors. You should always travel with a valid ticket, of course – but sadly, a valid ticket is not always sufficient to escape the punctiliously merciless attentions of a determined inspector. And of these ticket inspectors, one must be-particularly-ware of those who travel undercover: watching and waiting with secret identities, no uniforms to announce their power, the shiny Inspector badge materialising only when least expected . . .

It's

The Top 10 Pseudonyms Used By Undercover Ticket Inspectors On Melbourne Public Transport!

10. Sue Denym

9. Brandy Alexander

8. George Soros

7. Faith Popcorn

6. Seymour Butz

5. Jijuana Tequila

4. Clint Eastwood

3. Venger McHellraisin

2. Germaine Greer

1. Jeff Kennett

Now you know. And knowing, as you may have heard, is half the battle.

Top 10 #6: Top 10 Pop Culture References That Will Make Me Feel Nostalgic For My Childhood, I Hope

2010-01-27T10:20:00.002+11:00

Okay, people. This one is personal. So personal, in fact, that anybody who reads this list will surely be able to figure out not only just how old I am, but also precisely which elements of pop culture I was most receptive to as a child. And yes, yes, it's a damnably geekish list. (Although, on the other hand – when you're talking about pop culture, what's not geeky?)

So, the latest of my Top 10 Top 10 Lists That Don't Really Deserve To Be Top 10 Lists:

It's
The Top 10 Pop Culture References That Will Make Me Feel Nostalgic For My Childhood, I Hope!

10. The Seven Cities of Gold! (It was actually called The Mysterious Cities of Gold, but that's not how I remember it.) They get this big golden boat, and later on they get this big golden bird-plane thing?

9. The theme from Inspector Gadget. And from the show itself, especially that story where they're in this big house and it gets completely flooded with water. But mostly just the theme.

8. Ulysses 3000. (It was actually called Ulysses 31, but that's not how I remember it.) The crew is frozen, hanging in space, unconscious and just floating up near the ceiling of this big metal room . . .

7. Hot jam donuts, sausage rolls, twisties, icy poles. And sunnyboys, even though I'm not sure I ever actually had one myself.

6. The Mac Plus. Especially when used to play the original Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego? game. Especially the "typewriter" sound effects.

5. The original line of Transformers toys (the ones with metal in them!), and The Transformers: The Movie. By which I mean the real Transformers movie, the one with Orson Welles as the voice of Unicron.

4. Doctor Who. Especially any Tom Baker story where someone slowly transforms into a hideous monster. (There are a bunch.)

3. The Super Nintendo. F-Zero, Street Fighter II Turbo, Super Mario World, Super Mario Kart. And NBA Jam, and Super Ghouls 'N' Ghosts, and StarFox. And Castlevania. And all that glorious 8-bit sound! And everything else. And the original NES console and various Segas, too, I guess . . . but most of all, the Super Nintendo, summer of 1990-91.

(video not entirely related, but you should probably watch it anyway.)

2. LEGO. Glorious, brilliant, spectacularly wonderful Lego.

1. The Rage outro, on a Saturday morning at first light.

So, did these references actually make me feel nostalgic for my childhood?

Hard to say.

What about you?

And what are you nostalgic about?

Down!

2010-01-22T21:29:00.011+11:00

Lack! Absence! Off! Crash!

From later tonight, I'm going to be without home internet for a while. Apparently it takes "10-20 working days" of non-access in order to switch my account from ADSL to Naked ADSL. I've gotten so used to constant broadband internets, I'm not sure how I'm going to cope . . .

Lucky for you, though, I've already scheduled some posts (including the continuing Top 10 Top 10 lists!) to publish over the next few weeks. This blog will not be without content! And please keep commenting – I promise I'll reply, even if it's a day or two late.

Here's hoping all goes well. In the meantime, here's a picture of Christina Hendricks that I hope will cheer you up.

Top 10 #7: Top 10 Ambiguous Sporting Team Nicknames

2010-01-20T13:32:00.017+11:00

This one is clearly the most dull of my Top 10 Top 10 Lists That Don't Really Deserve To Be Top 10 Lists. However, it does have nice pictures, and also I spent at least a minute writing the hidden mouse-over text. Enjoy!

It's

The Top 10 Ambiguous Sporting Team Nicknames!

(And all from completely genuine top-rank sporting teams, btw . . .)

10. Dockers

9. A's

8. Reds

7. Packers

6. Clarets

5. Steelers

4. Wednesday

3. Bills

2. Blues

1. Card inals

Mostly taken from USA sporting teams, of course: American sports, you will agree, are clearly more . . . ambiguous.

Enjoy yr afternoon

-Thoapsl

Friday Is Out Of Context

2010-01-15T11:54:00.002+11:00

I found this in a comic book. This is set in the same fictional universe as Iron Man, Spider-Man, and the X-Men. The words in the speech bubble are interesting, I think. My initial reaction:

*whattttttttttttt*

Interesting? What do you think?

This Friday Is Out Of Context Thoapsl Says: A spell is not always restful.

Top 10 #8: Top 10 Song Titles That Are No Longer Hits When Rephrased As A Question Instead Of As An Assertion

2010-01-13T14:15:00.001+11:00

Ah, January. Yesterday I bought a 7 kg frozen turkey from the supermarket, ex-Xmas stock, half price: a bargain of the delicious! While I wait for it to defrost, I'm stocking up on carrots and re-reading Margaret Fulton recipes for sage & onion stuffing. I also purchased a parsnip. (No, parsnips do NOT taste like wood! They taste good! Shut up!)

And now: the latest of my Top 10 Top 10 Lists That Don't Really Deserve To Be Top 10 Lists!

It's

The Top 10 Song Titles That Are Not Longer Hits When Rephrased As A Question Instead Of As An Assertion!

If you can figure out all of the pre-rephrased song titles before you click on the links, you are clearly excellent.

10. Can You Always Get What You Want?

9. Who Are The Champions?

8. What Will I Always Do?

7. What Part Of You Do I Wanna Hold?

6. What Kind Of Pie Is She?

5. 2 What Do U Compare?

4. What Would I Do For Love (What Wouldn't I Do)?

3. In What Position Am I Stuck, And With Whom?

2. In What Way Is It Like A Stone?

1. At What Point Should You Stop?

Right on!

(And yeah, #6 is dubious, but I couldn't resist.)

Did you get them all? What other assertion-into-question song titles should I have used? Let me know in the comments. This is important. Probably. "A blog without feedback is like a dirty sock", they say.

Also: any turkey-roasting hints? I am open-minded, cookery-wise.

Cheers

Top 10 #9: Top 10 High Concepts Improvised In Less Than One Minute

2010-01-08T17:39:00.009+11:00

Yeah: as I figured it might, turkey did not permit me to publish very much this week. (Also I've been visiting folks up in the country, not that that's any excuse – they do have the internets up there, too . . .)

But anyhow, with that introductory ado adone – here's the latest of my Top 10 Top 10 Lists That Don't Really Deserve To Be Top 10 Lists!

It's

The Top 10 High Concepts Improvised In Less Than One Minute!

10. Soup On A Plane

9. The Zombies Eat Jim Carrey

8. Cop Who Plays By The Rules

7. These Dinosaurs Are Driving Me Crazy!

6. Limousine To Hell

5. Six Guns, One Bullet

4. Party In Hitler's Brain!

3. No More Puppies!

2. The Killer Is Calling From Inside Your Hat

1. Lasers On Ice

One day, I will write a movie script that will get made.

I'm pretty sure a few of the ones on this list have already been done, though. And #5 actually sounds pretty cool, don't you think? (Ah, who am I kidding, they all sound awesome wicked cool . . .)

Now, I look forward to seeing at least one person claim in the comments that I don't really understand what "high concept" means. Don't let me down, people :)

More Top 10 Top 10, coming soon!

Love, Thoapsl

2KX

2010-01-01T03:33:00.000+11:00

* something missing *

Xmas Xmas Woo Xmas

2009-12-25T07:29:00.002+11:00

I hope you're having a fine & pleasant day.

Here's to World Peace!
Nah, I'm kidding. All I really want is turkey.

Merry X &c. !

—the Festive Thoapsl

Top 10 #10: Top 10 Albums of 2009 That I Kind Of Thought About Buying But Then Didn't (Part Two)

2009-12-23T09:32:00.002+11:00

. . . Continued!

5. The xx — xx

Yeah, so apparently they make a big deal about the "xx" being lowercase. I'll try not to hold that against them.

This band has been making waves lately; they don't look cool, and not looking cool is an excellent way to be cool, but that's not why people are paying attention to them. What makes the xx unique is their sound, which is incredibly stripped back: as other bloggers have noted, they make four musicians sound like two. That kind of sonic restraint is incredibly rare in modern pop. Even better, they have the skills to use this restraint in service of some really spectacular tension-&-release songwriting. It's quite unlike anything else out there right now, and it's great.

But not great enough for me to spend money on it just yet, apparently.

4. Red Riders — Drown In Colour

Their debut album, Replica Replica, should have been a much bigger success – the damn thing was absolutely crammed with excellent, hard-edged guitar pop. But Red Riders don't seem to have the right image for success, or something; they're just too tuneful for the hardcore, too artsy for the popsters, too Sydney for the Melbourne. And apparently one of their (multiple) singer-songwriters has left them since the first album, which is a huge shame; they could have been so much more, if they'd all stuck together . . .

But that's people, I guess. In the meantime: if the second RR album has half as many kickarse songs as the debut, then it will be worth buying. Either way I'll be buying it eventually, I'm sure.

3. Lily Allen — It's Not You, It's Me

Aw, look – she's just so damn pleasant! I don't know what it is, but there's something about Lily Allen that I just find massively, ineffably appealing. I feel like I probably shouldn't like her music, but I do. It's neat, sweet pop; the lyrics are usually way more clever than they should be; and even when it's bitter and sardonic, which is most of the time, it's also damn nice. At her worst, she's not quite right, but at her best she's excellent.

2. Sarah Blasko — As Day Follows Night

I've written about Sarah Blasko before, but I guess I like to repeat myself.

Sarah Blasko is excellent. Her latest album appears to be even better than her previous albums, which were also very good. Enough said?

1. Florence And The Machine — Lungs

Florence is epic. I'm not exactly sure how she ended up at #1 on this list, though; her legs may have carried her over the line, I guess. That and her voice, which is astounding. I'm not usually the kind of person to be too impressed by a conventionally tuneful singing voice, but her voice is simply huge; the album title is apt. I've no idea if the rest of her album lives up to the interesting potential of the few singles I've heard so far, but I'm sure it's worth a shot. That, and I worry that she'll beat me up if I don't give her money.

And there you have it – Top 10 #10! And I'll be posting Top 10 #9 will before New Year, turkey permitting.

Merry Xmas!

--the Musical Thoapsl

Top 10 #10: Top 10 Albums of 2009 That I Kind Of Thought About Buying But Then Didn't (Part One)

2009-12-22T11:26:00.006+11:00

I didn't buy many albums this year; partly because I had less disposable* income, and partly because I've been unsure whether to buy music on CD or via iTunes (and sometimes indecision = no decision). I used to love the physicality and security of a real CD, but these days I usually listen to music through my computer or iPod, so are CDs still worthwhile? My bookshelf full of CDs still looks nice, but it's not so convenient. A few years ago, my collection of CDs was my personal music library; today, it's just an insurance policy in case of hard drive failure.

(Don't even start me on those horrific CDs with the most hardcore copy protection, the ones that won't even let you copy the music into your iTunes library . . !)

And I never buy DVDs, because I figure that the DVD is already a dead medium; so isn't it past time for me to give up on the CD, too? What do you think?

I've been watching Rage regularly all year, so I've heard & seen the singles from practically every new album release of 2009. A lot of these singles made me want to go buy albums, but I don't always do what I want. Here are the Top 10 Albums of 2009 That I Kind Of Thought About Buying But Then Didn't.

(Note, also: when I say "didn't buy", I don't mean "downloaded illegally". I don't like to do that; and it's not like any of these albums were inaccessible or overpriced or only available via an inconvenient delivery mechanism, such as certain television programs might be said to be, hypothetically speaking. Aside from the music videos, and/or songs freely available on myspace, I haven't actually listened to any of these albums.)

10. The Fiery Furnaces — I'm Going Away

Blueberry Boat, the FF's second album (from 2004), is absolutely brilliant. It's bizarre, it's dense, it's complex, and it's very long. I had to listen to it three times before it actually made sense to me. That might sound like a bad thing, and it usually would be, but not here: it's an album that rewards you for paying attention, for remembering that the melody you're listening to now is an echo of the melody from thirty minutes earlier. It's unique, entertaining, catchy and very, very smart.

So yeah, Blueberry Boat impressed me hugely, to the point that I was kind of obsessed with FF for a while. I even saw them live (and they put on a fantastic live performance, too). But every one of their albums since 2004 has been mediocre by comparison, even after repeated listens and much effort on my part. Widow City (2007) was occasionally excellent, but only occasionally. Bitter Tea was mostly weak. And as for Rehearsing My Choir . . . I mean, I really wanted to love that one. I wanted to enjoy it. I did not.

And that's why I haven't bothered to buy this new album: I've been burnt. The single (above) was good, but not mindblowing. Their most recent album (Widow City) was worthwhile, so I'd like to think that I'm Going Away is another step up, but I'm not willing to wager money on it. Not just yet.

9. Yeah Yeah Yeahs — It's Blitz!

I've always kind of liked the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, though I've never been a huge fan. But I always thought their songwriting was clever, and this album looked interesting; the singles were pretty good, at least. I'm kind of fascinated by the way they've changed their sound, too. It should seem like they're selling out, the way they've changed from punky-spiky-00s-rock into an 80s synth-underground feel – it's like a rebranding from one zeitgeist to the next, *cynicism* – but somehow, it just doesn't seem like a sell-out. Their new songs are good, and surprisingly subtle. Their new sound isn't a bland pop makeover. It's worth listening to.

But I actually haven't bought it yet.

8. Crystal Antlers — Tentacles

Intriguing mix of psych-ish music under really grungey, 80s-punk vocals. (I really love the vocals – guy's got an awesome voice.) This single is probably their least impressive song, I think, but some of their stuff available elsewhere is pretty spectacular. Also, I'm building a collection of albums by cool bands with the word "Crystal" in their name.

7. Golden Silvers — True Romance

The vocals are so English that it's almost distracting; together with the early-80s everything else, they obviously wish they were guesting on The Young Ones. But the more I hear of these guys, the more impressed I am by their pop songwriting & arrangement chops. It's really excellent stuff – the kind of clever, retro-but-not-pointless pop that only England ever seems to produce (see also, Mystery Jets). Damn fine. Even if I don't get a copy of their album this year, I'm sure I haven't heard the last of them.

6. Arctic Monkeys — Humbug

Arctic Monkeys had such a meteoric rise to fame, and were so damn young and pretty, that their passage through the NME meatgrinder-of-adulation very quickly became the sausage of hipsters' casual dismissal. But they don't deserve to be dismissed: the original fame & adulation was well deserved, because their music at its best is absolutely excellent. Their first two albums were simply great. I haven't bought this third album yet, but I know I will eventually; if it's not also great, I'll be very surprised.

Gosh, there are more words on this list than I thought there'd be! I guess I have more to say about these albums than I thought I would. I'm going to have to split this post in two.

Back soon, with the top half of the Top 10!

(And don't worry, btw – the other Top Ten Top Tens will involve far fewer words than this, I promise :)

*all income is disposable

Top 10 Top 10 Lists That Don't Really Deserve To Be Top 10 Lists

2009-12-19T12:43:00.011+11:00

We're coming up to the end of the calendar, which means only one thing: the mediasphere wants more lists. Yes, MORE lists. Endless, endless lists: Best Songs, Most Culturally Poisonous Films, Top 10 Everything, et cetera. MORE LISTS! And this year even more so than usual, because it isn't only the end of 2009: it's the end of the '00s.

(Speaking of which: how did we manage to live through an entire decade without being able to name it?* The Aughts, the Zeroes, the Noughties, the Nothings? – no. This was The Decade That Nobody Could Agree On The Name Of. When Generation Z grow up, how are they going to label their childhood nostalgia? We're not making it easy for them . . . And even worse, what the heck are we going to call the next decade? Are we really going to call it the "Twenty-Teens"? Seriously? I'm freaking out, man)

So, people like lists. You know this. It appeals to the human instinct for pattern recognition, I guess: people like seeing things ordered and labelled, we like to know what's important. That's why "Best Of" lists are always among the most popular blog posts, right?

But on the other hand, I'm kind of sick of Top Tens. The lists are almost always hopelessly subjective – which is fine – but they're also usually pretending to be objective and authoritative, which pisses me off no end. That list you just wrote up, that list you just read, over on that other blog? Please, internet, stop taking that list seriously. A list is not a table of statistics. It's a mixtape. For goodness' sake.

With this in mind: here's my Top 10 List of Top 10 Lists That Don't Really Deserve To Be Top 10 Lists.

10. Top 10 Albums Of 2009 That I Kind Of Thought About Buying But Then Didn't
9. Top 10 High Concepts Improvised In Less Than One Minute
8. Top 10 Song Titles That Are No Longer Hits When Rephrased As A Question Instead Of As An Assertion
7. Top 10 Ambiguous Sporting Team Nicknames
6. Top 10 Pop Culture References That Will Make Me Feel Nostalgic For My Childhood, I Hope
5. Top 10 Pseudonyms Used By Undercover Ticket Inspectors On Melbourne Public Transport
4. Top 10 Least Respectable Titles Of Philip K. Dick Novels
3. Top 10 Sports That I Expect I Will Never Play
2. Top 10 Actors That I Can't Remember The Name Of, But Then When I See Their Faces I Go "Oh Yeah, I Know Them"
1. Top 10 Best Numbers Between 1 and 10

I'll actually be posting all these lists between now and the end of the year. No, wait – there's barely 10 days left in the year, that won't work. How about I post these Top 10 Top 10s between now and the end of, say, January? Or, at least no slower than once per week? Sure, at least!

Yeah, that's right. Watch me.

See you soon :)

*& cheers to M("F")V for reminding me about this, just the other day

Mondays Can Be Disturbing

2009-12-14T10:54:00.005+11:00

Cheap of me to do two linkblogs in a row, rather than blogging something that I've actually created myself, but this tickled me too much to resist.

CONTEXT:

See, lately I've been looking for someone* to fill a vacant room in my house, and the process of interviewing prospective housemates has reminded me just how difficult it is to get to know people from only brief conversations. You can absorb a lot of intuitive impressions, but it seems impossible to really find out what they'll be like; I think people usually don't relax enough to show their "true" colours until you've been living with them for weeks, at least.

Thus, there's been a running joke between me & my other (non-new) housemate about the absolute best way to interview a stranger: the Voight-Kampff test.

The Voight-Kampff test is the interview from Blade Runner (via Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?) that's supposed to test your empathy – empathy, of course, being the unique quality that sets humans apart from "non-humans" (e.g. animals, psychopaths, killer robots). I've always thought it would be great fun to spring the Voight-Kampff interview questions on somebody when they're not expecting it, but I've never had the guts to do it "for real" . . .

. . . unlike the journalists at San Francisco's The Wave magazine, who decided to give the Voight-Kampff test to all the upcoming SF mayoral candidates. If you don't know Blade Runner, you probably won't get it, but I thought it was freaking hilarious.

As one would expect, at least half the mayoral candidates are definitely not human.

*Subsequently found: hello, Sarah D—! She's moving in tomorrow, good luck to all involved . . .

Appropriate Use of the Theme from "MacGyver"

2009-12-13T10:42:00.001+11:00

That's right.

(Via Pajiba.)

THE XMAS IS COMING

2009-12-11T12:31:00.007+11:00

No more than a fortnight to go, at the most. The Santa clearly has the upper hand.

I'm quite looking forward to the Xmas, this year. I'm not religious* (you could probably tell from the awesome Todd Schorr image I've posted above), but I much appreciate the nostalgia of midsummer turkey & family & feasting & gift-giving. And the X-holiday relaxation, especially: it's several days during which I don't have to do anything that isn't X-related. Freedom to loll (& lol) on a couch almost all day, freedom to feast, freedom to ignore work. Fantastic.

Even better – the gifts I've bought are already wrapped, a funky little stack in the corner of my room. How the hecks did I get my presents all sorted out so early, this year? I have no idea. It's very unlike me. I like it.

So! Two weeks until Xmas. Three weeks until 2010. More on events as they develop.

Good luck.

*So I figure the 'X' in my personal 'X-mas' simply stands for something other than 'Xrist'? (Or technically that would be 'XPIΣTΌΣ', for all you scholars of Ancient Greek and/or Theology in the audience . . . I know you're out there . . .)

Like A Tiger

2009-12-05T10:17:00.007+11:00

I do not care about this recent Tiger Woods affair car-crash whatever thing. I also did not care about the Premier of South Australia having an affair last week, or whatever that was. I mean, I don't think I ever used to care about "celeb adultery shock!" stories, much – but lately I've been more than uninterested, I've been damn well anti-interested, to the point that celebrity sex scandals are actually repelling my interest.

Is it just me? I know that famous people's extramarital affairs used to be much more of a big deal, years ago, because extramarital affairs used to be much more of a big deal in general, years ago . . . Until the 1970s, divorce was always scandalous and/or nigh-impossible; sex scandals could literally bring down a government. Fair enough these stories were well newsworthy, then.

Today, though . . . how is adultery still worth a broadsheet's front page? Is it really news? I mean – what's the divorce rate, these days? I'm 28 now, and I'm almost the only person I know whose parents aren't divorced. Only a minuscule fraction of marriages last from the vows 'til death without being interrupted by adultery and/or divorce. Shouldn't it be a hell of a lot more newsworthy when famous people don't have an affair and/or break up?

This is the gist of my rant: adultery is BORING. Adultery is ROUTINE. Adultery is EVERYWHERE, even if some people still refuse to admit it. So can't we just assume that most famous married people are having affairs, and then forget about it? With rare exceptions, adultery has no bearing on anything that the famous person is actually doing in the public sphere. And it's none of our business, right? Look, I enjoy reading about (some) famous people, I totally understand the impulse to learn the "private" details of their lives; it's a neat thrill, sometimes. But adultery just isn't doing it for me, anymore. Adultery is dull, predictable and petty; it's not exciting, it's not even sexy. It leaves me feeling vaguely glum. I'd rather know what Tiger Woods eats for breakfast than know the state of his marriage, and I don't really care what he eats for breakfast. I don't even play golf.

I DO NOT CARE about Tiger Woods's marriage.

However. I did find this Chinese news report rather intriguing:

(via Pajiba)

The Onion's version of events is compelling, too.

Am I in a minority of one, in not caring about celebrity adultery? Am I being too old-fashioned, or too new-fashioned, or just daft?

/end rant

Friday Is Out Of Context

2009-12-04T16:29:00.006+11:00

You know, somebody says "Slug Monster!" and you think you know what they're talking about. You turn around for a look, but you already feel like you know what you'll see. Heck, you've seen some horror movies, you've got a pretty vivid imagination; you've seen plenty of slug monsters before. How bad could this one be?

Obviously, you have underestimated certain German illustrators of the early 1920s.

(Note, also: the body in the lower left is not being crushed by the slug. It is being absorbed, or possibly growing out of the slug's body like a deformed limb.)

This image is actually part of a cover for a 1920 issue of Der Orchideengarten, a fantasy magazine that ran for an impressive fifty-one issues in Munich from 1919 to 1921. After the horrors of the Great War, THIS is what people were reading to relax.

Image via the ever-awesome A Journey Round My Skull blog. There's plenty more mind-melting Orchideengarten imagery and info to be found out there, if you dare . . .

This Friday Is Out Of Context Thoapsl Says: A salt is not a defence.

What I Did On My Anti-Holidays

2009-11-26T11:49:00.008+11:00

Where "anti-holidays" = "lots and lots and lots of work".

And I'm not going to make excuses for my blogging hiatus, because – *mysterious hand-waving* – there was no hiatus! Okay, this blog may have been looking all tumbleweeds and dust for a while, but I can assure you that I was in fact blogging the whole time over on this other blog. It was part of this postgrad course that I've been doing, you see. (Also, because I'm too ~~lazy~~ busy to do more than one blog at once while also working part-time and studying full-time. As long as I'm doing all my blogging for free, at least . . .)

But: my anti-holidays are now over, so here I am again. Welcome Back Me. I've also grabbed some of the blog posts that I liked from my other blog and re-posted versions of them here (complete with original comments!), to fill in the two-month gap between now and the beginning of this (non)-hiatus. Hooray for blogspot import/export!

That's enough meta-blogging for now. Real content to follow, soon, I promise :)

---the Summertime Thoapsl

Movember!

2009-11-02T10:16:00.001+11:00

Yes, it's that time of year again – Movember! Upper lips across the land are already sprouting the first brave whiskers of the season, well on their way to achieving the glorious full 'stache of a proud Mo Bro. It's all to help raise awareness of men's health issues, especially prostate cancer and depression. Men have traditionally been reluctant to look after their health, and that's a big contributor to their lower life expectancy, so it's an important issue.

I know what you're thinking: "I want to be part of Movember, but I've never had a moustache before! What do I do?!"

Fear not! Luckily, popular culture provides us with many valuable moustache role models. The gentlemen below (and lady – let's not forget that Mo Sistas are a big part of Movember, too) have all brought great honour and glory to the 'stache. From the world of cinema:

GREATEST MOVEMBER MO-VIE STARS!

Daniel Day-Lewis

Image © 2007 Paramount Vantage

Greatest Mo: There Will Be Blood

Day-Lewis had previously grown a grand handlebar for Gangs of New York, but his brutal oil-man 'stache for There Will Be Blood is one of the greatest of all time. Yes, he drinks our milkshake; he drinks it up. This is the perfect 'stache for your next 1890s party.

Carl Weathers

Image © 1976 Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

Greatest Mo: Rocky III

Honourable Mentions: Rocky, Rocky IV, Predator, Rocky II

1980s action movie moustaches don't come tougher than Carl Weathers's lip-hugger. Whether he was boxing Stallone to a standstill or helping Schwarzenegger kill an invisible alien monster, Carl Weathers's moustache remained effortlessly respectable. Proof that a moustache can look classy even when you're not wearing a shirt.

Burt Reynolds

Image © 1977 Universal Pictures

Greatest Mo: Smokey & The Bandit

Reynolds's acting is probably at its best in Boogie Nights, but his moustache was at its best during his 1970s–80s heyday – when Reynolds built an entire career out of driving fast cars, dropping cool one-liners and grinning seductively. He also lent his voice to a dog named Charlie B. Barkin in All Dogs Go To Heaven, arguably one of the better animated kids' movies of 1989. Unfortunately for all of us, however, that film did not include an animated version of Reynolds's moustache.

Salma Hayek

Image © 2002 Miramax

Greatest Mo: Frida

Hayek's face-fuzz may be even more subtle than the great Frida Kahlo's real-life moustache, but it's still a proud effort. (I'm not making fun – Kahlo's visible moustache was a serious artistic statement, famously represented in her many self-portraits, okay?) If nothing else, I think it's good to know that the potential for a great moustache lies within (almost) all of us – women included.

Are you inspired yet? Check out the official Movember website. And those of you who lack moustacheability can still support Movember – if you like, you may even enjoy a variety of crafty facial hair replicas. Everyone else – stop shaving!

Halloween Week: Scariest Music of All Time

2009-10-27T08:35:00.001+11:00

If you're planning a Halloween party, there's no shortage of scary movies to watch – it's pretty easy to find at least 10 horror movies with the word "Halloween" in the actual title of the movie – but finding scary music is tricky. What kind of music could possibly be as scary as a horror movie?

It's Not What It Looks Like

Ever since Black Sabbath and Alice Cooper hit it big in the 1970s, there have been hundreds of metal, goth and emo bands willing to dress up in "scary" costumes to look like they're part of the scene. You know, the traditional "scary metal" look: wild hair, everything in black, chains . . . how could it not be scary?

Ozzy Osbourne, Godfather of Scary Metal.

Forty years later, this sort of look just isn't scary at all, anymore – and neither is the music. In the 1970s, church groups were terrified about the "satanic powers" of bands like KISS – but these days, who's afraid of a little hard rock?

There's only one "scary"-looking band that might be worth a fright, and that's The Horrors. Although they're a pretty obvious choice – look at their name! – they're also one of the better British bands of the past few years, and their last couple of albums were great fun. But either way, they're probably not exactly horrifying . . . so who is?

I'm here to help. Give these tunes a whirl:

Come To Daddy — Aphex Twin

The music is very, very unsettling, but the real kicker is the video – directed by the great Chris Cunningham, and widely regarded as one of the scariest music videos of all time. Be warned: if you come across this one on Rage at 3am, you may have trouble sleeping afterwards.

'97 Bonnie & Clyde — Eminem, Tori Amos

The original Eminem version, with its disturbing lyrics and "googoo-gaga" toddler noises (sampled from his own baby daughter!), is creepy enough. But Tori Amos's interpretation – from her covers album, Strange Little Girls – is really frightening. While Eminem's skittish rant sounds like a sarcastic slasher film, Amos's intimate whispers create an In Cold Blood–style true-crime horror. Seriously, be warned: this song is not for the faint of heart. (Or the easily offended.)

And from the same Tori Amos album, her almost-unrecognisable cover of Slayer's death metal epic "Raining Blood" is pretty interesting, too . . .

So if you look around, there are plenty of scary songs in unexpected places. But if you want to hear something really scary, there's one musician who stands above the rest:

Why Does His Voice Sound Like That? BECAUSE HE EATS YOUR BONES

That's right – Tom Waits. He began his career as bluesy, Bukowski-esque balladeer, but with 1983's Swordfishtrombones his music took a turn for the seriously bizarre. Haunted 1880s gypsy accordions, skeleton-rib xylophones, electric guitars tuned to breaking point, some instruments so obscure that they may not actually exist – from one song to the next, Waits's music ticks every box marked "creepy" and several marked "awesome".

The most intense and terrifying instrument of all is his voice, which often sounds like he's been gargling battery acid. But his vocals are surprisingly versatile; one moment he's genuinely tender and forlorn, and the next he's crawling inside your ears to eat your brain. If you want to hear a sound that will make you fear for your life, Tom Waits's voice is a great start.

What's the scariest music you know?

Happy Halloween!

(Not) The Last Post

2009-10-19T19:38:00.002+11:00

My favourite quote (out of everything I've read on the web today):

Comma. You never want one of these anywhere near you [. . .] Every time you add a comma to the description of what you do, you suck a little bit more [. . .] Commas are for unfocused hacks.

The quote isn't quite so awesome in context – it's from an article about marketing, *ho-hum* – but what a line, huh? I dare you all to yell, "Commas are for unfocused hacks!" at a professional writer or editor, as soon as possible. Preferably during a job interview.

I've been trying to think about what I should write about that would be fitting, now that my uni course (the one that's been about blogging) is almost over . . .

First, some trivia:

The most expensive word on Google is mesothelioma. If you want to buy a Google Ad that appears on searches for "mesothelioma", it'll cost you US$99.44 per click.

Secondly, Twitter:

It's a good and useful thing. Probably. I blogged about Twitter a while ago, but just yesterday I came across a really neat article about some ways that it might be worth your while. If you're curious about Twitter but still unsure (or if you're on Twitter already, but you have no idea what to do with it), try reading this.

Thirdly . . .

I like words. I like people. Blogging seems like a good compromise.

People often talk about the "dehumanising" effects of technology, but I don't really buy into that. I think the whole memesphere of the web is powered by people communicating with other people: it all feeds off the kick we get from exercising our empathy, from recognising differences and commonalities between ourselves and others. Jokes, stories, ideas. It's all good. (Mostly.)

Anyhow, I think it's something that we should feel good about. Sometimes people are awesome, and sometimes it's too easy to forget that.

(I think I read somewhere that happiness is "seven successful human interactions per day." I like that; it sounds achievable . . .)

Blogging is fun and satisfying in a very unique way, I think. If you keep writing, I'll keep reading, I promise.

–Tim

Email: Obsolete?

2009-10-16T12:42:00.003+11:00

By now we're all familiar with the imminent death of newspapers, the imminent death of CDs, the imminent death of television, etc. But the other day I came across an idea that I'd never considered: the imminent death of email. That got my attention.

Email went mainstream only fifteen years ago, but it's now an essential part of daily life; to imagine it being completely replaced (already?!) is bizarre. But this article has almost convinced me that email's days really are numbered; the writer has some interesting arguments, at least . . .

To begin with, email is apparently too slow for the modern internet, because it's not instantaneous. Email is stuck in the 1990s – deep down, it's still expecting you to be on dialup:

. . . email was better suited to the way we used to use the Internet—logging on and off, checking our messages in bursts. Now, we are always connected . . .

And that's why, according to the article, email is steadily being superseded by various kinds of instant messaging and chat (not to mention Twitter and Facebook). The last time you wanted to tell somebody something over the internet, did you actually use your email? Or did you just update your Facebook status?

The other big problem is email's lack of finesse. We're all dealing with more information than we actually have time to read, so we need good ways to classify and sort everything – #hashtags and meta-data, blog labels, threads. Email doesn't really allow for that. Also, we now have various personal profiles associated with our presence on the net – extra information and context about ourselves, which is a kind of "passive" communication – and email doesn't really allow for that, either.

This is why, for example, Google are setting up their Wave: a new system that's supposed to combine the functionalities of email, instant messages, social networking and collaborative documents (a.k.a. wikis) into one supreme package. When I first heard about the Google Wave I was sceptical (and also slightly . . . concerned), but the more I think about it, the more useful (and plausible) it all seems.

Is this really going to happen? Will email be completely abandoned within our lifetimes? Is it going to matter, either way?

Also: should we be worried that Google knows everything about us and is building artificially intelligent supercomputers?

Image © 2002, C2 and its related entities. Via Google Image Search ;)

Rage Roundup (ish)

2009-10-12T11:11:00.000+11:00

Not much Rage on this blog, lately? Yeah, I know. Here's a couple of tunes to tide you over.

Liam Finn + Eliza Jane — "Long Way To Go"

Liam Finn has produced some impressive music lately. His band Betchadupa (currently "on hiatus") never made a huge impact, but I'll Be Lightning (2007) – Liam's melancholy solo album – was a more substantial success. Now that his musical partnership with Eliza-Jane Barnes (daughter of Jimmy Barnes) has moved to equal-billing status, there's a new enthusiasm to the music that's seriously punchy.

Both Finn and Barnes are multi-instrumentalists, and it's clear they have a passion for unusual musical arrangements. To construct this tune they've surrounded a glam bass riff with 1960s psych organ, 1970s synth bleeps and modern drums. It's an odd blend, and the central riff is very simple – you might even say, "old-fashioned" – but the arrangement overall is crafty and energetic. The guitar solo buzzes and twists like a drunk wasp, the organ chords generate great texture and tension (especially in the bridge – check out the way the organ plays against the background vocal harmonies), and the "sshhhpp!" percussion effects remind you to dance. It's great stuff.

The video shows Finn and Barnes flashing rapidly in and out of existence on their various instruments in the recording studio, showing off their simultaneous multi-instrumentalism. It's an interesting visual effect, but it's probably more uncomfortable to watch than it should be – the flashes are so rapid, it's surprising the video doesn't come with an epilepsy warning. Enjoy!

Jessica Says — "I'll Set The Night Upon You"

Lots of songs begin with only piano and voice; it's an elegant combination that flatters a nice voice, so singers tend to enjoy it. Jessica Says's new single starts with only piano and voice, but then it does something unusual: it refuses to add a single extra instrument as it goes along. (Listen carefully and you might notice occasional background vocals from New Buffalo's Sally Seltmann, but that's it.) One instrument, no overdubs – as far as pop ballads go, that sort of approach is practically punk! Luckily, the vocals are strong enough for the song to work well with piano alone, and it creates a wonderfully pure and clear, "live" sound.

It's tempting to compare Jessica Says (a.k.a. Jessica Venables) to Kate Bush – they share a similar songwriting taste for sweet-and-sour melodies, and there's even a vocal resemblance – but it'd be unfair to mark this as any kind of rip-off. Venables possesses a unique edge of her own, and this is simply a great song; the musical craft and spirit on show are undeniable.

The video is interesting, too. It looks like a homage to 1960s European art films (dubious sexual politics included); production-wise it's obviously cheap, but it's adequate. A song this good really deserves something better, but Jessica Says will hopefully be successful enough to demand a bigger music video budget next time. Looking forward to it!

2009 ARIA Awards: Nominees!

2009-10-10T11:06:00.001+11:00

As shiny as the Oscars, as confusing as the Grammys, as lucrative as the Nobels? No, the ARIA Music Awards are something else – Australia's own. And the 2009 nominees have been announced!

However, I have some questions:

1. How can there be "nominees" for the "Highest Selling Australian Single/Album"?

This has always confused me. Shouldn't winning this award be about statistics, not nominations? It generates competitive interest and publicity, I know – but surely anyone could figure out the winners right now, just by looking at the sales figures?

(Moral of this story: music journalists cannot be bothered to look through sales figures.)

2. What does "Adult Contemporary" mean?

Nominees this year include Bob Evans, Josh Pyke, Little Birdy and Paul Dempsey – all indie mainstays, each one loved and supported by youth radio stations (especially Triple J). So has "Adult Contemporary" become a replacement for the abandoned "Alternative" category? The teenagers of the 1990s "alternative music" boom are getting into their thirties now, so maybe the ARIAs are growing up, too. (Either that, or Triple J is actually a station for contemporary adults. Hmm . . .)

3. How come 2009 includes AC/DC's first ever ARIA nomination, and not their 50th?

Because the ARIAs only began in 1987. And let's face it, AC/DC have released only two albums since 1987 that are arguably better than "adequate": Black Ice (this year's nominee) and The Razors Edge (1990). Razors Edge does include "Thunderstruck", one of their best hits, but it was disqualified due to the lack of apostrophe in the word "Razor(')s". You can't rock out without appropriate punctuation, and I commend the Australian Recording Industry Association for their strong and principled stance on this issue.

4. Do the ARIA nominations violate their own guidelines?

This year, C. W. Stoneking was nominated for "Breakthrough Artist – Album", despite being ineligible (because his previous album was nominated for a 2007 ARIA). He's since been stripped of this nomination – but he's still nominated for "Best Male Artist", "Best Independent Release" and "Best Blues and Roots Album", so he's doing all right.

Another odd nomination is Ladyhawke (Pip Brown), who's nominated in 6 categories despite being a New Zealander. (Not that we aren't happy to claim her as an honorary Aussie, of course.) ARIA fine print indicates that artists are eligible if they've lived in Australia for more than six months and applied for permanent residency, which may or may not be the case – I'll keep you posted . . .

5. How many nominees have an exclamation mark in their song or album title?

Answer: At least four!!!!

It's good to see a strong field this year – I don't think there are any "what the?!" nominees making up the numbers. Award ceremonies are often controversial (one way or another), but their real purpose is to celebrate the industry and create publicity for deserving nominees. On that count, the 2009 ARIAs are already a success.

What do you think about giving awards for high sales, "Adult Contemporary", AC/DC or Ladyhawke's fair dinkum kiwi-ness?

Beware! - The Ghost Fleet of Singapore!!

2009-09-21T15:29:00.016+10:00

The most evocative and exciting news story I've read for ages:

"The biggest and most secretive gathering of ships in maritime history lies at anchor east of Singapore. Never before photographed, it is bigger than the U.S. and British navies combined but has no crew, no cargo and no destination ..."

Isn't that a spectacular introduction? Great article, too – check it out. If you haven't already.

Some day soon I'll blog something that's more than just a link to something else . . . but on the other hand, right now I'm on a break, so some day soon isn't tomorrow. Also, it looks like I'm writing a script for an actual movie, did I tell you that? Busy times, my friends! Busy times!

I did tell you about the script thing via Twitter, but I haven't actually told you that I am a twit before now (because, look, all this tweeting is still just an experiment, and it still leaves me feeling kind of . . . dirty . . . ), so, um, anyhow. There you go. Whatevs. Vive la communique ;)

Mondays Can Be Disturbing

2009-09-14T17:43:00.012+10:00

But not today! Check it out: have you ever seen an image more charming, more sweet, more heartwarming?

Aww yeah!

It's the wand that really makes it, I think.

I found it here, but it's originally from here – an odd site called TeeFury. Yeah, tons of sites sell novelty tee-shirts, but this TeeFury place is unique in that it puts each shirt on sale for one day only! By the time I discovered the Unicornasaurus, I was already too late . . . :(

Heck of a hook to grab regular traffic & impulsive sales, huh?

Friday Is Out Of Context

2009-09-11T09:28:00.008+10:00

Gosh, you know what's lovely? Flowers. Flowers are lovely. Everyone loves flowers.

Wouldn't it be great if we could tell a heartwarming children's tale about flowers? And we could give them all names!

And faces.

Oh god their eyes, what have we done? HOLY NO WHAT HAVE WE DONE

*aazdzzrgghghhlmnllnzz!!*

oh sweet william, please stop. please stop

It's all the fault of T. Benjamin Faucett, but I found it here.

Childhood was harsh in 1924.

This Friday Is Out Of Context Thoapsl Says: An anthropomorphism is not sneezing pollen.

Something That Grabs Your Attention

2009-09-10T21:08:00.001+10:00

An interesting, unusual statement. An elaboration, less unusual but possibly amusing. A longer sentence, a clarification; and a hook to keep you reading.

A clearer statement of what I'm actually talking about. A piece of information relating to this. However, a modification of this information; a complication. A subtle contradiction.

A less formal sentence, framing a more personal context. Consequences of a possibility. A modest disavowal of judgment. A more contentious statement or dubious piece of information, presented as an uncertain possibility.

Gesture towards a summary. A more definitive statement. Hint of personal opinion. Something intended to inspire you to leave a comment.

Pithy conclusion.

Tuesday Tact Tract

2009-09-08T11:41:00.001+10:00

Human relationships can be difficult. Here, Marvex The Super Robot has trouble responding to a compliment.

What might be a more appropriate, tactful response?

A. Thank you, Clara. You are the most wonderful man I know.
B. I reject your statement. You are incorrect.
C. *wistful smile*
D. I like your hair. I like your hair.
E. [other]

(Discuss with colleagues.)

• • • • •

Appropriate behaviour is, in fact, quite simple. When responding to compliments, you should always stare deep into the closest eyes and think of the Three Eees:

Embarrassment

Effusivity

dEfensiveness

And always remember: Tact, Tact, Tact. It's just that simple.

--the Tactful Thoapsl

(is having an odd day today)

Rage Roundup @ August 2009

2009-09-02T20:52:00.007+10:00

Winter rolls to its bitter close. (Okay, not that bitter. I had an okay time.) And it brings a swag of indie prog rock to listen to, oddly enough; I wasn't expecting that. Thanks again for all your lovely music videos, Rage!

I should point out, there's nothing here that really feels like 1970s-type prog rock; there's no definitive '70s stylings, no genuine '70s modes. And maybe these '00s tunes here, unlike '70s prog, aren't really trying to be 'experimental' or 'progressive'? They're just trying to be musical and interesting, I think. And besides that they're all too modest, too self-aware, too Gen Y. That's not prog! So. 'Prog-ish', let's say; or just, 'progressive'?

Aw heck, who cares. It's a vague word for a fuzzy genre, anyhow. Bring it on.

(You know what's awesome, by the way? This is awesome. Yes. Shut up.)

Introducing Palace Players — Mew

Quick, watch it before Sony notices! 'Embedding disabled by request', oh Sony you ridiculous fools, you . . .

These folks are Danish, apparently. That's nice. Anyhow, they've made a seriously beautiful video. The photography is gorgeously cool; the visuals are superb. Also, the subject matter: creepy floating alien laser cubes in a forest? Lovely! It's striking and evocative, and all the better for being unexplained.

More than the video, what really makes this worthwhile is the music. I'm always pleased when a song is not only (musically) unusual and interesting, but also clever enough to maintain a decent sense of dynamics. Far too many 'artsy' or 'intelligent' bands regress by default into dull, meandering mush, but not here. Listen to the spark in those rhythms, the barbed wire in the guitar! It's indie and intellectual but it's never boring, and it never collapses into wimp-rock. Fine, intriguing stuff.

Old Money — Hungry Kids Of Hungary

Look, it's the unexpectedly epic new single from the Hungry Kids of Hungary (of Brisbane). Their earlier indieguitarpop singles had shown good songwriting chops (though, never quite good enough for me to include them in a Rage Roundup before;), but this is something else: they've taken an unexpected turn into Wings-ish, almost Queen-ish piano balladry. The hook at the tune's heart provokes an unusual song structure to hold things in place, but as a whole it actually works quite well. Solid piano chords and falsetto harmonies ride over a broken-leg momentum (almost Hey Jude–like) that's a real kick. It's familiar, but not overtly nostalgic; and it's never too familiar (occasional McCartneyisms notwithstanding). Addictive stuff, and it improves with multiple listens. I like it.

Also, note: bow ties. Totally a fashion again. Huh.

(With that in mind: if anything, the video is maybe a bit too mocking & cheap-jokey for its own good; the melody is strong enough that they could easily play the emotions straight and get away with it. It's the type of strong, catchy song that could honestly be a real crossover hit if given a bit of airplay, I think.)

Black River Killer — Blitzen Trapper

I liked Blitzen Trapper's 2007 album, but despite several moments of brilliance it was honestly a little uneven . . . and worst of all, the production had this terrible, terribly modern-style mix that almost ruined it. The kind of mix where all the levels are balanced too high, so it sounds punchy and loud on a car radio but there's no clarity or depth. A mix like that is not necessarily a deal-breaker, but it was bad news for Blitzen Trapper; they tend to have a lot of subtlety in their arrangements, an unusual folk-rock vs electronica sound, and it's the kind of thing that needs precision and clarity to sound its best, I think. So although I've been curious, I've so far resisted getting their follow-up album, Furr. However: based on this single, I might have to stop resisting. This here music is A+.

The song is a bluesy ballad with a country-folk arrangement, which would be nice enough in itself, except, except – oh, it's much better than that. Listen! The fierce bursts of electric guitar punctuating the verse's turnaround chords – the tense musical restraint and laidback vocal, screaming to explode, that never does – the synth melody like a violin 21C, like an antique UFO – the spiralling chord progressions – the snare rippling its frustration – brilliant! Even the little turns of phrase in the lyrics, simple but smart: the best kind of balladry. And check out the excellent video, which perfectly matches the musical mood via clever effects editing and inventive, creepy imagery. (Not to mention the washed-out and dreamlike exposure of the film itself, which creates a great visual punchline when we get to the 'black river' of the finale.) There's also a great sense of menace implied by never showing the protagonist's face: it's simple, but very effective. Splendid.

And to top it all off, even the mix sounds pretty alright. Maybe I should go buy the whole album after all.

That was August. I'm tempted to include Calvin Harris's Ready For The Weekend as a Bonus (!) – that lad sure knows how to produce an effectively excellent pop song, alright – but you've probably heard that one already. Instead, how about some new-school old-school punk? Check out Hungry And Tired, by The Riot. That's pretty stupidly generic band name, but they are from Brisbane. It's also a pretty stupidly generic punk song, to be honest, but gosh I really do like the particular way that the singer sings 'I was hungry, and I was tired . . .' – what can I say? I enjoyed it.

Also, please pay attention to Golden Silvers and The Mint Chicks. Whole bunch of good things released by them, lately . . .

Gosh gosh gosh gosh! Musicamusicamusics!

Awesome. I reckon this must be the time for me to stop typing.

Until next time . . .

--the Musical Thoapsl

Self-Indulgence

2009-08-28T11:16:00.001+10:00

This isn't a post about "Anonymous", the 4chan meme (although that is a fascinating story, so maybe I'll have to do that some other time)*. I want to write something now about being anonymous. I've been thinking about blog anonymity a lot lately, but I'm still really uncertain about it. Maybe writing will help me make up my mind. Maybe you can help me out in the comments.

First: I started a blog a while ago. I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do with it, but I thought it would be good opportunity (and excuse) to force myself to practise different ways of writing. Which is what it's actually been, more or less, I think. I posted as "Thoapsl" because in my mind, that stood for "think of a pseudonym later". (Yeah, I know, I know...)

BUT. As of Wednesday, I'm no longer anonymous: my blog now carries my actual name. So? Even before, it was possible for people to figure out my identity if they tried hard enough. But I'd always had a vague paranoia that without anonymity, I was more vulnerable; that I couldn't post anything without fear of it haunting me irl. Anonymity meant the freedom to relax.

That's what I thought my motivation was. But in fact I've always cared about what I post, anyway, whether anonymous or not. Thoapsl's reputation isn't my reputation, but it's a reputation that I care about. I've even gone out of my way not to swear online, mostly, despite the fact that my natural inclination is to swear like a m*therf*ck**g c**tf*xed tro**er.

So if it's not really about freedom, what's my real paranoia? Am I maybe worried about potential employers not hiring me, because of something on my blog that they don't like?

I know I'm definitely conflicted about angling for employment via my blog. I want my personal blogging to be for fun and random – I don't want to feel constrained by purpose. I definitely don't want to seem mercenary. But if someone actually emailed me tomorrow and said "Hey Tim, I read your blog and I would like to give you money for something" – that would be great, wouldn't it? And if there's nothing on my blog that would actually lose me a job – at least, any job worth having – then what's the worst that could happen?

Maybe I've talked myself into it. Maybe I'm still unsure. Either way I probably need to work on my blogger profile some more. (Maybe I'm just embarrassed that I don't have a real "occupation" to fill in on my profile, yet.)

Is anonymity worth it? Do you care about it, yourself? Would you (or do you?) blog anonymously, or under your real name? Best answer wins a prize.

*Hey, wait a minute! I just noticed, I am totally jumping on the mentioning-4chan-but-then-not-actually-talking-about-it-although-still-leaving-open-the-possibility-of-talking-about-it-later bandwagon. What a weird coincidence. Hat-tip to Carla!

Mondays Can Be Disturbing

2009-08-24T09:16:00.003+10:00

Um… do I have to?

Gosh I'm pretty sure I'd rather not, actually

(via)

I'm Like A Bird

2009-08-20T16:24:00.001+10:00

I've resisted joining Twitter for a long time because, you know, Twitter? Only journalists, nerds and stupid celebrities (and their stalkers) use Twitter, everybody knows that! It's just a wank, right? Worse than blogging, even. Forget about it.

That would probably be a dumb and unfair exaggeration, but that doesn't mean it's not a common reaction. It seems that because Twitter has gone from what? to it's everywhere! with such speed, a lot of people I know already feel that it's just not cool anymore. Of course back when it was cool, hardly anyone was using it, so there was little point in signing up. But now that it's been aggressively colonised by mainstream celebrities, it's just tragically unhip.

It's the same thing that happened to Facebook after your mum and dad joined. The difference is that Facebook, unlike Twitter, enjoyed a good year or so (i.e. 2007) dominated by twentysomethings – the parents and bosses didn't make it over until more recently.

If you were born in the 1980s, you and your friends joined Facebook around 2007–08, right? That was the crucial year-without-parents that entrenched Facebook's social essentiality. And even if you've now changed your mind, even if you now openly despise Facebook, now it's too late! Because if you quit tomorrow, how will you get invited to parties? How will you flirt? How will you play Scrabble? Facebook today is like a mobile phone: it's so culturally pervasive that it's more of a hassle to avoid than it is to play along.

Twitter hasn't had Facebook's luxury of incubated hipster coolness. It has had a huge amount of press coverage and good buzz, but I have a weird suspicion that this might be due to two unusual factors:

1. Twitter is excellent for journalists. It's a 21st-century evolution of the wire service, perfect for concise bulletins and constant updates. And if a whole bunch of journalists are suddenly using a new technology, it makes sense they're going to be interested enough to write a whole bunch of articles about it – even if these journalists are actually an unusual minority, compared to everyone else.*

2. Ashton Kutcher.

Of course, I could well be wrong about this. I live in a social bubble of my own. Most people I know don't really dig Twitter, but "most people I know" is not a meaningful demographic – everything I've said here could easily be way off. And yet, recent data indicates that I might be right: it turns out that most Twitter users are older professionals, while twentysomethings are definitely in the minority. But is this the way Twitter is going to stay, or will the demographic suddenly broaden after it passes the tipping point (as recently happened with Facebook)? And so what if it does, and so what if it doesn't?

Anyhow. My point: I joined Twitter this afternoon. Why?

Because yesterday, my housemate joined. Which meant that I suddenly had a total of two close friends on Twitter. If that's all it takes to convince me to join, maybe Twitter really is the future. I honestly don't know.

Answer me, people: is Twitter cool?

And, either way: so what?

*This is only a hypothesis, unfortunately: I've been able to find some data on Twitter demographics, but nothing that talks quantitatively about journalists. So this hunch of mine may be, in fact, complete crap.

Synaesthesia

2009-08-16T12:22:00.011+10:00

I usually don't do linkblogs, but goodness me: this is spectacularly awesome, I think.

Hat-tip to the fine people of io9, and there's more detail here.

(Pic unrelated. But if it intrigues you, you should really go check this out.)

Things learned during the Melbourne International Film Festival

2009-08-13T20:57:00.014+10:00

1. Spending about 1000% more time than usual watching movies really shakes things up, let me tell you. I ran out of food, I grew out my hair, I changed my brand of anti-perspirant. Heck of a fortnight all over.

2. If you see a film which has an awesome twist in it, but the only reason the twist works is because you aren't even slightly expecting it, you're in a pickle: how can you convince people to go see this film without hinting at the twist's existence? If you describe the film's premise and people just say "aw, that doesn't sound that interesting, can you lend me five bucks?" – how do you convince them that the story isn't as dull and obvious as it sounds, without making them think that there might be something unusual and twisty about it? Ah, it's a pickle...

Moral: if I say a film is great but I can't convincingly explain why, you should go see it anyhow.

3. Subtitles (in English) for actors speaking in thick accents (in English): insulting to the (English-speaking) audience, an overreaction, or just incredibly distracting? Okay, okay, in the end I guess it wasn't as distracting as it might have been, and I'm sure those audience members unfamiliar with the Yorkshire patois were appreciative, but holy cats! Subtitles Were Annoying.

Films were pretty fine, though.

4. Australian Horror Films. I've been seeing a lot of them lately, I should really do a whole post on the topic. But instead I'll just shut up and tell you this: you should see Lake Mungo. The only modern Australian horror film that might rival it for quality would be Wolf Creek, but that's a really inappropriate comparison – the two films could hardly be more different. Lake Mungo is a ghost story (which is rare), and it's a horror that goes for deep chills rather than shock-jolt scares (which is even rarer). I saw it in a dead silent, almost-deserted cinema: the perfect viewing environment for non-jokey horror. It's excellent.

Lake Mungo did not play in the 2009 Melbourne International Film Festival. It has had only a limited cinematic release in Australia, and that within this last month or so, but it was picked up for an American remake nine months ago. Somebody needs a bigger marketing budget, okay.

5. Latauro is surprisingly recognisable. The guy is everywhere.

6. Is Korean cinema in some kind of a golden age for creepy, off-kilter films this past decade, or what? Park Chan-Wook has been doing absolutely brilliant stuff for a while, but I was really doubtful that anyone could do anything worthwhile or new with vampires, anymore. I was totally wrong. I also thought that while The Host was a great monster film, it was probably a one-off; I didn't imagine that it had been made by any especially brilliant filmmakers. Again, I was wrong.

Anyhow, the films "Thirst" and "Mother": I recommend them.

7. Nazi Zombies. Exactly what you were expecting, but in a very satisfying way.

That's a lot of points related to horror films, isn't it? I did see a bunch of artsy intellectual movies, too. In other words:

Blue Beard

Oh, Catherine Breillat, you crazy kidder! Good one.

The White Ribbon

So, hey, Michael Haneke, are you extremely clever? In all seriousness, I honestly can't tell. I think so? Probably? I think so. But I'm going to have to think about it some more. And this is not a bad thing. I think.

(I'm not being sarcastic, here, btw...)

And that's not everything I saw, but it's enough to be bothered writing about, I think.

--the Cinematic Thoapsl

Molly Ringwald's Fault

2009-08-08T18:27:00.002+10:00

A lot of John Hughes films were about the consequences of attention, or the lack of it: trying to get the attention of someone you like, what happens when parents don't pay attention to you, what it's like to be lonely and misunderstood. Blogging is all about attention, too – the blogosphere is like a 1980s high school movie where popularity is everything. Or, let's be more specific: your problem is that your (allegedly) wonderful personality is useless and irrelevant, until you can get your hot crush to notice you. Once you've been noticed, a happy ending is inevitable. Either your hot crush (i.e. internet audience) likes you too, or else you realise that you never really wanted them after all, and you end up with your best friend instead. (The internet is not your best friend.)

I got to thinking about this after I followed a link from here to here – a blog post by a woman who was became John Hughes' pen-pal after writing him a fan letter. (Seriously, go read it.) It's a genuinely touching post. But what struck me, looking at the rest of her blog, is how she's now gone from having practically no readers (3 comments on one post, 0 comments on the next post, 2 comments on the next, etc) to suddenly having 1000+ comments – which implies a readership of, say, presumably 10,000+? I know this is not a bad thing – the blogger in question is obviously sincere, it would be massively unfair to suggest otherwise* – but I can't help feeling weirdly uncomfortable about the implications.

Attention-seeking behaviour doesn't have to be nice to be successful. What are you willing to do in order to get attention (on the internet)?

• Will you lie about who you are?

• Will you say something controversial, even if you don't entirely believe it?

• Will you insult somebody?

• Will you post pictures of yourself naked?

• Will you promise something?

Here's my promise: if everyone from my class at uni comments on this post, I will bake you a cake.

On the other hand... are readers the purpose of blogging, or are they irrelevant? Plenty of people blog on despite only single-figure readerships (e.g.) – but do they care? Does it matter? Without readers, are they wasting their time? Presumably they're getting something out of it themselves, or they wouldn't continue. I guess the real question is: are these blogs readerless because they're no good, or because they're not trying hard enough to get attention? (Whether an audience matters either way is a different question, I think.) It's possible to regularly read dozens or hundreds of other people's blogs, so it must be possible for every single blogger to have dozens or hundreds of regular readers. Why don't they?

What aren't they willing to do?

*Although that hasn't stopped some people, apparently.

Rage Roundup @ July '09

2009-08-04T20:23:00.003+10:00

Howdy howdy howdy! It's been a while since the last one of these roundups, but the word "irregular" has a nice ring to it, yeah?

Alright, then: these are some music videos that I saw on Rage. I have surrounded them with words.

Raindrops — Basement Jaxx

The sheer sonic variety in this is gorgeous, I think. Basement Jaxx have done some clever, inventive pop singles in the past, but the arrangement of this tune is just explosive. The promise of electronic music is that you'll never need to accept the limitations of a live performance – i.e. a consistent set of realisable instruments – but few musicians take full advantage of this idea. Modern music often uses different instrumental sounds for different musical sections within a song (e.g. the "quiet acoustic verse, loud electric chorus" mid-90s grunge template), but "Raindrops" uses different sounds from one note to the next. The drums carry a stable rhythm, but everything else is in flux; even the vocals are processed differently from word to word. This could easily be jarring or ridiculous, but it's not. The tonal mosaic always serves the music: as it progresses, the sonic texture continually rearranges itself to match the song's melodic whims. It's impressively intelligent stuff.

The other reason it all works is that it's simply a catchy, well-written tune. And the video is a great visual fit to the sound: a brilliant, decadent kaleidoscope of colour and rhythm. It's also full of near-naked dancing girls, which would usually be questionable... but the visuals are ultimately too bizarre and abstract to seem really exploitative, I think. Clever work, this. Splendid.

Stillness Is The Move — Dirty Projectors

Lotsa buzz around these Dirty Projectors people, lately. Did they get a good review on Pitchfork, or something? (Why, yes they did.)

What I find really interesting about this is the way that it's clearly indie-hipster-indie in every appearance (e.g. the Pitchfork thing, the outfits that are MC Hammer via American Apparel, this album, etc etc) and yet it's also just so pop. Squint with your ears, and the music could easily be a Timbaland production; a lost Kelly Rowland single, with slightly less impressive vocals and unprofessional dancing in the video. It's like the wannabe-disco/80s-revivalism of 2009 indie has caught up to the abstraction of mid-00s avant-pop — although approaching from different directions, they're suddenly both in the same place. Isn't that something?

Anyhow, I probably wouldn't mention it if the song wasn't also catchy as heck. The structure of the melody is fractured and drawn out over several phrases before it resolves; it's a weirdly intellectual way to write a tune, almost like a doped-up bebop melody, but it certainly hooked my attention. I hardly ever remember lyrics, but "there is a higher mountain!" has been rolling around my head all day. Addictive listening, this stuff. Maybe I should go buy their album.

You Don't Need Me — Royal Treatment Plant

Not much in the way of full-on guitar musics released this month, sadly – "guitar groups are on the way out" – but there was this. (There was also something from The Dead Weather, I guess, but I really can't be bothered talking about that.) There's nothing especially groundbreaking about this song, but the arrangement is very good; the intertwining guitars are unusually effective, and the gasping rhythm of the chorus is excellent. The vocals in the first verse were dangerously close to something that I wouldn't like, but the singer's performance in the choruses carved up enough edge to win me over. It's hard to find anything that's superb, here, but all things are at least above average: simple, but effective. It's just a nice, tasty wedge of alt-rock. The lyrics are more interesting than the usual, too – "you don't need me" is not a common lyrical sentiment. I like it.

Heartbreaker — MSTRKRFT featuring John Legend

"Heartbreaker" is not an uncommon song title, but then there are a lot of heartbreakers out there irl. (Am I right, folks, amirite?!)

This particular "Heartbreaker" is built around a piano riff. It's not easy to make a piano sound cool (you can't pitchbend* an ordinary piano, for one thing) but Mstrkrft's riff is impressively sharp. The chord progression is circular in a way that cleverly builds tension without losing energy; the vocals are quite decent, too. Mastercrafty music.

What happens in the video? A gang of ugly hooligans disregard the private property of a local storekeeper. The least ugly hooligan and the storekeeper's daughter totally don't make out. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

*Pitchbending being the easiest method by which an instrument might mimic the emotive qualities of a human voice; guitars and horns pitchbend to make cool sounds all the time...

This post is about finished, I think. For a Bonus (!) I'd like to mention Stone Cold Sober by Paloma Faith. It's an unusually interesting little soul-pop single, and I like how it has the guts to drop out the sound on the words "Stone! Cold!" – certainly an attention-grabbing move, that.

So: it's August now. Seriously. August, 2009. *pff!h*

--the Musical Thoapsl

Friday Is Out Of Context

2009-07-31T14:45:00.009+10:00

Do you see this match? Do you see it?

Illustrations from the old Saturday Evening Post really fascinate me. There's something really striking about this image, don't you think? (On the other hand, I think modern-day Ikea catalogues are endlessly disturbing and fascinating, so maybe it's just me.)

I could say something about the vertical composition and the blue eyes, but seriously – it's a heck of a picture, yeah?

Anyhow, the context: it's 1955, and you're not a public service announcement about forest fires, you're actually an advertisement for a timber company. BUY WOOD.

This Friday Is Out Of Context Thoapsl Says: A lumberjack is not a little match girl.

This Is A Poster For A Horror Movie

2009-07-27T21:04:00.009+10:00

Joss Whedon apparently wrote half of this.

(Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?)

Great marketing, huh? I found a couple more of them over here.

Gosh

2009-07-24T11:39:00.004+10:00

Yes. Things have been busy. The future keeps on happening, damn it, but that's alright. It's better to be busy than bored, right? (On the other hand, I'm pretty sure I haven't been bored since the late '90s.)

In the meantime: more words to follow. I'm going to be working (real-working) more intensively than usual over the next few months – various new endeavours, see – but I'm still going to aim for at least one post each week, or so. What do you reckon? Time will tell, huh...

Anyhow.

Hiatus, what hiatus?

There will always be more Mistakes Being Made!

--Thoapsl

Friday Is Out Of Context

2009-07-10T14:17:00.001+10:00

Monkey Pope Says:

Seriously guys, I know, this whole Michael Jackson reminder of tragedy and despair is hard on us all. Yes, it really is.

(for context: this is an illustration by Dorothy Lathrop for a 1942 publication of Walter de la Mere's short story "Mr. Bumps And His Monkey" – you can find the story here, and I found the image here... but it sure looks like Monkey Pope to me.

One hell of a sitcom premise, there...)

This Friday Is Out Of Context Thoapsl Says: A cardinal is not a primate.

On a more personal PS, I'm extremely busy with work this past & coming week, so apologies for the less-blogging-than-usual. Usual conditions will be reasserted in a week or two, I hope. And then – news! New things! And on my other blog I'll be publishing some scripts I've written, too!

PPS: did you know that Catholicism's concept of Papal Infallibility was only invented in 1870? You'd never guess the idea was that recent without looking it up, would you?

PPPS: I really hope that someone appreciates the multiple levels of awesomeness involved in that "cardinal/primate" pun up there. Seriously, that's at least three puns in one sentence. My day has not been wasted.

MICHAEL JACKSON IS UNDEAD

2009-06-26T09:29:00.003+10:00

Rage Roundup!

2009-06-21T18:56:00.005+10:00

Okay go! Unauthorised thanks, as always, to the delightful music-video televisual broadcasts of Rage.

Departure — Crystal Stilts

Remember how for a while there, it seemed that every new group out there was a wolf? Wolfmother, Wolf & Cub, Wolf Parade, Patrick Wolf...

There's a new meme in the namehouse now, I think. Crystal Castles, Crystal Antlers, and now Crystal Stilts. Is it surprising that these Crystals are edgier, harsher and certainly way cooler than the Wolves? Wordwise, is "crystal" more punk than "wolf"? Maybe so, I guess...

Anyhow, these Crystals are as much fun as any of the others. The music is all very "I wish I was Ian Curtis, I wish I could live in 1978 forever" but for what it's doing, it's certainly convincing. And although it's derivative, it's derivative in a very specific (and elsewhere underexploited) fashion. The rhythm section produces a genuinely excellent and powerful momentum throughout. In fact, the music sounds – vocals aside – as if the entire band are trying to be the rhythm section. (That's not an insult. Musically, I think that what they're doing here really works.) Meanwhile, the video is made out of some interesting Spirit-of-'68 file footage, visually intriguing and nicely edited (albeit ideologically ambiguous, if you like).

A couple of other Crystals turned out to be well worth a bit of effort. Here's hoping that these Stilts have more than one trick up their sleeve. (Although, if they only have one trick, at least they're doing it well enough, huh?)

Kiss With A Fist — Florence And The Machine

This is an interesting one. Do you think it's being kind of insensitive and flippant, domestic-violence-wise? Or is it just a fierce metaphor, evocative and poetically appropriate? The video itself is a visual showcase for the singer's superhuman legs (among other physicalities), her diction produces a passionate rhythm throughout... – so, sex and violence. Hm. If I watch it a few more times, will I come up with an answer?

I don't know. It's a good song otherwise, and you can't deny that it's punchy as hell, no matter what. A lot of the chord progression is a kind of rip, but not annoyingly so. Do we like it? Let's say we like it.

Watusii — Cortney Tidwell

Hey, it's that synth sound from Kid A! I'm glad someone decided to pick that up. Don't worry, though, this is definitely not a Radiohead rip-off. If anything, it reminds me vaguely of Catcall (or maybe even Pikelet) in that it's an interesting electronic-based meld of (let's say) most of the non-mainstream genres of late-90s-mid-00s, swirled together? (The sound of the million daughters of Björk?) Electro, indiepop, alternative hip-hop... you could pick out a number of different elements in play here, but they're assembled in a package that sounds surprisingly original. And at the very least, this is certainly also a good song, good enough so that I don't care if some of the packaging may have been used previously. (The vocal sound is lovely, too.)

Another thing I like about this single is the video, which puts a nice new spin on the old animated-live-action-via-rotating-track-camera-stop-motion effect. (I can't think of the proper name for what I'm sort of talking about, but take a look at the video and you'll see what I mean.) It's a simple enough trick but it works well, and it's a very good visual metaphor to match the circular chord progression and the driving rhythm. Keep an eye out.

(Also, let me say for a PS: I think that "Watusii" is an excellent song title. There's at least two clever jokes hidden in that double-i.)

Hey, look at that! A Rage Roundup post finished and up on a Sunday! I may be down to only three and a half songs per fortnight, but I'm maintaining reasonable haste. For a Bonus (!) I'd like now to direct you to Postcard Guy by Lauren Horton. This looks like it's probably one of those no-budget homebrew releases, broadcast once at 4am and never heard from again, but I'll be very disappointed if that's all it ever is. It's a truly neat tune, charming as heck, and wrapped in some really eccentric production – not complicated, but never boring. Great stuff.

Okay. It's almost time for next week. We'll talk then.

--the Musical Thoapsl

Happy Bloomsday!

2009-06-16T08:22:00.004+10:00

Eat some kidneys and think about piss! Say hello to a lady on the beach!

Have you read the chapter that's all questions and answers? Or the one that's all musical?

It is one lurid heck of a book. Say yes!

Friday Is Out Of Context

2009-06-12T08:57:00.011+10:00

Let's say you saw this on the cover of a magazine.

When you think of alimony, do you think of circus laundry? Personally, when I think "weapon of female revenge" I think of something a little more literal, but I suppose that's maybe a generational thing? You tell me, magazine readers of the past – what the hell is up with you people?

For increased context, here's the complete picture: cover of Coronet magazine, May 1952. (Found via.) Note that this issue apparently sold well enough to justify at least one printing of two and a half million copies. Note also that the complete picture still fails utterly to link the elephant-watches-man-hang-circus-laundry image with its "Alimony: Weapon of Female Revenge" headline, in absolutely any way. Was there a last-minute editorial change? Were they trying to appeal to that lucrative men-who-fear-women-but-love-the-circus market? Am I missing an important visual metaphor, or something? Help me out, seriously.

This Friday Is Out Of Context Thoapsl Says: An ex-wife is not an elephant in the room.

Rage Roundup @ Recently

2009-06-09T00:36:00.005+10:00

A week late? Not exactly. I wasn't going to do a Rage post at all for this week, but then a few nice tunes stuck around and here they are. (Thanks again for your always delightful free-to-air broadcasts, Rage.)

Awkward Kisser — Telekinesis

This is a short song. Under two minutes. Now, under three minutes is a rarity in today's marketplace – pop songs really have been bloating since the '60s, yes? – which makes this as sharp as a slap. Should I be disappointed that it's so short?

The verse is marginally annoying indie singsong, but the chorus is where it's at: a wonderful, wistful, Wilsons-ish call over a Be-My-Baby backbeat. And then that's it, it's over! So – two verses, which I could leave or take, and two choruses, which are genuinely lovely. And an unremarkable video featuring the singer (who's so nerdy, he might be too much even for indie geek chic).

The chorus wins. Next?

The Way You Are — Kate Vigo

Vigo. Scourge of Carpathia, sorrow of Moldavia. Known as Vigo the Cruel, Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised, and Vigo the Unholy. It's a nice enough song. Sounds a bit like Duffy without the speech impediment* or Missy Higgins without the real accent; there's nothing bad about it, but there's nothing spectacular. It's a vase of flowers on the kitchen table. Yes. But also I'm pretty sure that there was a copy of Ghostbusters II on VHS lying around my house when I was a kid, and I'm very, very happy for the opportunity.

*Note to self: stop teasing people from Wales, it's just not right

Dynamite In Black & White — Hot Little Hands

Oh, so this is why there's been so much buzz around these guys. Holy cow, this is one damn crafty slice of tune. But unfortunately, the video above isn't it. This here is actually an earlier version of the tune (from 2007, I think) – I'll post the new version as soon as I can find it on youtube. (So why isn't it there already, if the new video has already debuted on the teev? Must have a hole in the head.)

UPDATE EDIT!: As of June 17, here we go.

The differences between the two versions aren't drastic – 2009 has crisper production, tweaked arrangement, a more energetic solo at the two-minute mark (& more energy all around, really). But the arrangement is a frame for the song, and the song itself is bloody excellent. Criminy, what a sweet hook. I'm not sure if the polish shows thru so well on the earlier version – the 2009 arrangement is definitely a more effective delivery mechanism – but both versions are quite something.

Really – when was the last time you heard something quite like this from an indie band? It's Split Enz via Bryan Ferry. The video (not the earlier one, the new one) is simple but engaging, and also surprisingly charismatic; the bandmembers themselves, too. The frontman does an adequately Jaggeresque butch camp. The music makes it. Overall this is the kind of left field chance that pop deserves, I think. Here's hoping that these guys are, if nothing less, at least a shot at being the next Little Red.

And finally, for a Bonus (!) you could easily check out Fossil, I by Sky Larkin. More echoes of '90s grunge/alt revivalism, alright... but it's truly fine & modern guitarwork in its own right. Nice riffage. I think I need to hear more before I'm sure the songwriting is worth paying attention to, but either way: likely worth looking out for.

What a fortnight! What a week! What a minute! It's past midnight and I need to work. Good night.

--the Musical Thoapsl

Concept Art for your Nostalgia

2009-06-04T08:48:00.004+10:00

Turnips are great. They're especially nice baked in Cornish-style pasties.

I never thought about it, back in the day, but are those things masks... or faces?

Either way, they have no eyes. Only darkness.

*doki doki, doki doki*

(Also, Winona Nelson is great. & I saw it here first.)

>20

2009-06-01T09:32:00.004+10:00

I've talked about this sort of thing before.

It's not too original. Its returns diminish on repeat viewing. It's probably much the kind of manatee humour that many simply people don't like. Nonetheless: great stuff, huh?

There's a whole bunch of these around, actually – they're all fun – but the mysterious introduction makes this first one the best, I think.

PS: I know, I know I shouldn't have. Roman numeral puns are the lowest form of pun.

Saturday Morning Is Sometimes A Bear

2009-05-30T06:52:00.006+10:00

Click to zoom in on the caption, which is so unnecessary it's mindblowing. Saturday Evening Post of 1952, hooray.

The picture is an illustration by Stan Galli – I picked it up from here. How great are the facial expressions? (Answer: "Quite")

It originally accompanied a short story. I'm a big fan of that story's spectacular title and headline:

What chance indeed?

Giddy!

You'd think that even a couple of "giddy women" would know better than to picnic at a place called Danger Canyon, though. It's like when people climb Mt Disappointment and they're surprised that the view isn't very good.

Also the bears are cool

Rage Roundup @ 22 May '09

2009-05-25T15:30:00.006+10:00

I saw some music videos on Rage, and here are some words about the three most of them.

Q. Three most what?

A. Shut up

okay let's go

Too Fake — Hockey

The embedded clip is a live performance – you'll have to follow the headline link to get to the actual video clip, because EMI policy is conceived by drooling moronic dustcakes. (I mean come on, people! Music videos are advertisements, so why disable embedding? Is uncontrolled free publicity honestly worse than the possibility of being embedded in an unfavourable context, or whatever? Dustcakes.)

Anyhow, the video is pretty dull & unremarkable, so who cares.

As for the music: I can't tell if it's a ripoff of Rapture / !!! / etc-style dance-rock circa 2003-2008, or if... no, actually I can tell, the music is definitely a ripoff of that style. But the lyrics are weirdly ironic and enough to make me think twice. Singing "I'm just too fake for the world" in a tone which could be both bitter intensity or a completely breezy joke – it's a very unusual posture to listen to. I honestly can't tell if it's a clever statement or something completely empty, so I guess that's probably the point.

And I wouldn't have paid any attention at all if it wasn't a catchy chorus, too, so there's definitely something here. But then again – am I giving these guys too much credit? It's a catchy tune, but also too repetitive. Let's see what else they can do before we make rash decisions. Okay then.

All I Want — Sarah Blasko

"All I Want" is a terribly generic song title. That's about the most severe criticism I can come up with for this one.

It's a gorgeous video – beautiful dark light, and a weird sort of mystic-Victoria-Western visual vibe that's a great match to the music's Morricone-ish strings & whistles & drums. And then at the end (SPOILER) she destroys ghost gunfighters using magic smoke from her hands! Awesome.

Seriously, it's a beautiful piece of music. I wasn't thinking about Blasko's new album before, but I'm really looking forward to it now.

Dust Devil — Madness

So a band from the '80s are reformed, and releasing a new album? The lead single isn't crap? Hm.

It's very unusual for a band that's been around so long to release music that sounds exactly like you remember them, but also feasibly new. On the other hand, Madness weren't much of a typical sound in the first place. Even so – it's unusual, right? There's an interesting & original melody here, it's a pleasant piece of music all over, this is nice stuff. But its existence is definitely unusual.

So why is it (usually) difficult for pop musicians to be productively creative past their first decade, then? Is it just a lifestyle thing, the difficulties of living music while also living life & family? Is it an industry thing, unwilling to finance old troupers when the new ones are prettier (and cheaper too)? Bob Dylan released another album the other day. AC/DC's* recent album was surprisingly good. And yet.

Aw, let's assume it doesn't even matter. There's enough room & time to listen to everyone. Yes?

*what's the html tag for 'lightning bolt'?

Okay, folks, I've got a big week ahead so I'll have to leave it here for now.

But in the meantime, if you like: for a Bonus (!) let's check out Eagle And Talon. Yes Yes '90s revival is GO, my friends, let's enjoy it where we can. I am an abominable snowman! Right on.

--the Musical Thoapsl

Friday Is Out Of Context

2009-05-22T13:23:00.004+10:00

Yeah man, who cares. Like, tell me about it.

What's even better: the full title is officially listed at a site you could purchase it from as:

Who Cares About Elderly People ? ((Who Cares Ser.))

Of course "Ser. means the "series" it's a part of – see also – but am I the only person who instinctively reads the full list title as:

Who Cares About Elderly People ? ((Who Cares, Seriously.))

This Friday Is Out Of Context Thoapsl Says: A rhetorical question is not always questionable?

Equuququqqq?

2009-05-20T10:18:00.006+10:00

Surprisingly busy these past seven days, what with various encomplicatory happenings & eventuations. In the meantime, do you remember this? I recently found another odd Amazonian amusement (it seems I'm a couple of years late to this one, but anyhow):

Titles like this totally attract the best reviews.

Behooves! hahahahaha rofl

Note also:

Hm.

EYES THEY ARE NOT YOUR EYES

2009-05-14T00:09:00.004+10:00

It was the seaside. At first...

I thought of the number 10. Then I forgot about her.

Nine. The AM. She greeted me. Something sour in the smile. Something familiar, but I couldn't place it.

I failed the interview.
Eight, and getting later. I was trying to relax, but the lighting in the bar was too bright. Everything was shiny. Everything glinted. Way too bright.

I might have been staring. I decided to buy myself another drink.

Seven. The AM, they tell me. The pink is supposed to calm me down. Her smile is supposed to calm me down. It's not working.

I like her dress. Is that allowed? Tell me if that's allowed.

Six, now. I'm walking towards the group of them when I see her head turn. It's weird, though, it's almost like it rotates. The pattern on her jacket was sewn by a robot. Maybe her hat, too.

Have you been looking at the sky? It's a lovely day, it really is.

Five. It's almost five, now. They've been making me wait, you see, they've kept me waiting until it's too late. They're not even pretending to give me another chance. I'm going to need to make another appointment. I want an appointment.

Her lips look like wax. Suddenly, I remember where I know her from –

Four. She's been dyeing her hair every four days. Is she trying to throw me off the scent? Or is it the other way around?

Everything is turning red. It's a signal. It's definitely a signal. I can see her teeth.

Three. Everything happens in threes. They think I don't notice, but I do. I'm counting everything and I don't forget.

Still red, I notice. Everything I drink. Everything in my mouth. Could she be frightened, now? I'm looking in her eyes, but all I see is

Two. The two of us now, that's all there is.

She knows. Oh shit, she knows everything

One? Not one? Not one print, not one shred of fibre, not one scrap of evidence. Not a clue. Of course not.

I have nothing left to give her. Nothing left

Zero. I knew it. The ziggurat, she said. This was the end. Was it Mexico, still? We might have made Guatemala during the night. No way to tell.

At the edge of the jungle I took a blade to the gut. She tipped her hat and smiled like the sun coming out.

It's the new range from American Optical. 1959 is looking good.

Rage Roundup @ 8 May '09

2009-05-11T14:29:00.010+10:00

Something a little different, this time - for brevity & ease, I'm cutting the Roundup's pretty face down to a Three Most singles of the week.

Go for it.

Family Galaxy — Tim Exile
Now this is fun! Electronic, synth-based songwriting that's not afraid to just be nuts. It might sound like the pursuit of unpredictability as an end in itself, but I think it always serves the song. (And the lyrics talk a lot about "always changing" and "never stay the same", so it makes sense to hear the musical form mirror this.) Maybe it reminds me of Devo: as weird as it gets, there's an underlying aesthetic of tuneful-pop that's never totally eclipsed. And they borrow another Devo gesture by spinning a nifty trick of disrhythmia, not once but at least thrice – it's kind of spectacular.

The computer graphics are fairly primitive, but the video works well enough anyhow. It's always pleasant to feel like you're moving at speed. I guess there's nothing going on here that's absolutely brilliant, but it's neat and nice all over.

Lizstomania — Phoenix

I came to Phoenix a little late; I still haven't gotten around to hearing their 2006 album, but I love their first two records. So I'm looking forward to this new album of theirs, but I'm kind of unsure about it too. The sound that made their first couple of albums so great is a fragile kind of thing; it's a balance of production and arrangement that's very easy to screw up. Without the right kind of songwriting to back it up, you end up with the worst kind of '70s-FM-pop-via-French-electro instead of the best. It's tricky...

Luckily this is a real neat tune, I think. Great title, for one thing. It's got a lot of momentum under a light touch, and there are a couple of nifty suspension bridges across the middle. (An interesting structure all over.) Vaguely wistful and melancholic, but it's upbeat even so. Reasons for optimism, I hope?

The Reeling — Passion Pit

This one has actually been out for a few weeks, but it took me a couple of weeks to warm up to it. The video was immediately appealing, though: it's built around a clever visual effect which looks like the visuals are printed on to crinkled paper, layers of which are then ripped and torn like a sort of stop-motion effect. But on top of this basic format, the singer's head is covered by its own animation of wrapped paper, and then there are flashes of colour, and then there's even more than this besides... it's really excellent stuff. Overall it's the kind of spectacular that you'd probably want to call "a visual tour de force" if you weren't worried about clichés, but you know what? I reckon it is a bloody visual tour de force, so there. I liked it.

The music is a sort of indie electronica – it feels like it shares a zeitgeistish commonality with Animal Collective's recent stuff. (And you can tell it's coming out of indie rather than pop because the vocals are high-pitched, male and slightly distorted.) It's also a lot more inventive, songwriting- & arrangement-wise, than you'd expect from something that started in a club. The melody feels strong enough to carry any sort of instrumentation, and that's what really lets it kick. The more I listen to this, the more I like it: excellent.

Bonus (!) video, for the sake of Interest: check out Shoes — Tiga.

What's that sound? It's the sound of my shoes. I'm still not sure if it's really any good, but the video certainly holds my attention. But you know, maybe that means that I do like it? It's some fine fun either way, right?

Deadpan. It's very, very deadpan. (Also, apparently, Canadian.)

So, anyhow: no rocking out this week? No decent electric guitars, anywhere? Synths ahoy at every turn? What is this, freaking 1999? What the hells is wrong with music these days?

Ah, well... but things could be worse, I guess. Right? Things are not bad. Yes?

Okay then. Okay. Let's just stay cool.

--the Musical Thoapsl

Friday Is Out Of Context

2009-05-08T10:34:00.008+10:00

If you click on the image, you should be able to enlarge it enough to read the caption.

It's the facial expressions that really make this one, I think. Go ahead and drown in those big dark eyes.

(Also: is that a Loch Ness monster in the background, or a dragon? Wt?)

So yes, apparently the Saturday Evening Post magazine was a culturally prominent publisher of fiction with illustrations. This picture is from an illustration by Lynn Buckham from their issue of July 26, 1958. I don't know everything about the story that it accompanied, but I do know it included the following line of dialogue (no joke): "Softy muscle man, I hate you!"

See, people assume that 1950s America was all conservative and repressed and boring, but the truth? This is where the '60s begins. Woman in scuba gear rides moose, escapes Scottish loch monster. Those freaky beats.

This Friday Is Out Of Context Thoapsl Says: A moose is not to make fun.

Yo, what?

2009-05-04T18:08:00.001+10:00

Yeah, I know. I had a pretty good routine going, and then I go for more than a week between posts?

SUCK.

If I were a couple in an Austin Briggs illustration, this is what I'd be thinking of me:

However, in my defence: I've been doing stuff.

(If you can't follow that link, send me an email & I'll invite you to the private blog where my novel hangs out.)

Anyhow: never mind. More to come, etc.

See you soon

--Thoapsl

Friday Is Out Of Context

2009-04-24T09:16:00.000+10:00

This is how we sell meat.I LIKE YOUR HAT.

I LIKE YOUR MEAT.

Yes.

For context: find more & similar here, if you like.

This Friday Is Out Of Context Thoapsl Says: A steak is not poetry in reverse.